I lost her. I lost the girl who was perfect fit to my imperfections. You never realise the worth of things when you have that, same thing happened with me. I was blind folded and couldn't see her emotions. My ignorance hurted her badly. It Wasn't sudden, it was my cold ignorance that killed her innocence and love for me like a slow poison. I liked her the very first day I saw her, the energy she had, the glittering eyes, her curly hair and best thing was her innocence. She was like a godess, my eyes stuck to her face pulling me towards her. She was definitely out of my league but god had other plans, we became friend. She was my junior, we always enjoyed each others company. There was something magical in her, when ever she was around I started feeling positive and lucky. I still remember how our friends teases us, they believed that we are
perfect match and she used to blush on that. Everything could have been so
perfect if I wouldn't had been turned so dumb and ignorant. Except her everything else in my life was not so cool. Waves of emotions was going inside my head. I was dealing with my insecurities, failures and that made me ambitious. She was like temple where my mind surrenders and get lost in her innocence. In that defficaies I became so ignorant that i couldn't realised her emotions were getting stronger. It had started hurting her and I being a dumb kept ignoring. My friends realised this they tried to convince me that we were a perfect match, they conveyed same to her and every time she wanted to talk about this i just ignored. I used to text her only for work, our convo started getting shorter. we started meeting less. She could sense that and started staying away from me. She wanted to rebound but her feelings were killed by my ignorance and that's how I lost her.

The days passed by, I got some serious health issues and thats when i got break from everything. It was difficult to breathe, my chest was burning with pain. doctors were trying their best but nothing seems working. Everything had become zero , all my ambitions shattered. I thought that was the end, my mind started reverse journey , flashed my life in seconds. In those few seconds there was something i wanted badly. There was only one thing missing and its her. After 9 days i started recovering and regaining my senses. When i gain my senses i wanted to hug her tightly and open up my heart to her. But i couldn't as i had to stay in hospital for until discharge. I wanted to make her feel special, i wanted to do something grand, but guilt of past kept shouting in my mind don't delay anymone. so I texted her from the hospital and told her about my feelings. The impressions of my ignorance she had was so deep that she got numb. She didn't even replied. After 5-6 hours she gathered all her courage and said "No , she never even thought about this and have no feelings at all". She knew I was in hospital battling for my life but she doesn't even cared to asked how I'm.

I can imagine how difficult it would have been for her, and how ignorant i must had been. I had two options , keep trying , try to convince her but that will only scratches her pain. So, I decided not to deepen her wound and let her heal. Its been more than 2 years now. Her wound have healed to a great extent and she has almost forgotten me. We do even chat now but rarely, messages are always initiated from my side. she replies a few times and sometimes not even that. Even if she is in good mood our chat don't last long. Even i have also started texting occasionally like birthdays. Once I meant world to her and today I don't even exist for her.

I wish i couldn't have been so ignorant but this is what fate has. I lost the girl I waited all my life long , I lost the girl i used to write for, I lost girl who made me what I'm. I lost the girl who taught me love to imperfection to live life perfectly.
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