have you ever just asked yourself, Why Me? wishing to be able to go back in time and change the things that wasn't in your plans. I have...many times. you see it all started when my best friend, Michael, committed suicide. I was only 13 years old when I found him. I feel that if I didn't walk in, then he wouldn't of been scared and pulled the trigger. but then again, who knows if the universe had it planned that way. all I know is when I heard that shot from his closet I wasn't prepared for what I seen. that image will remain with me till the day that I die. after that I was never the same. I proceeded to start having suicidal thoughts and plans and just be very depressed. I couldn't count how many times my younger sister would walk in on my and I seen the fear in her eyes.
to skip forward... I turned to what I call as self mutilation. you see I cut myself but only to watch the blood seep out. no enough to kill me but enough. you see, when I look at the blood it resembles all the pent up frustration, anger and sadness. watching it just flow out of my body and I feel alright. therapists have labeled me a cutter and I guess, in a way, I am. my family has always been a big part of my life and even tho I didn't see it back then, they were part of the reasons I...