You haven't talked for a while.
And you miss him. So you opened your messenger. And you see he's online. You think for a while, hesitating but opened your chat box anyway. And you go through your last conversations. It hadn't ended well, all messages, seemingly typed half-heartedly. But you know that hadn't been the best time for both of you. And you're hoping this time would make a better opportunity to talk. So you begin typing, but stop, not really knowing what to say. "Would he even appreciate it? Would he even want it? What if he doesn't, and he's better off with me gone? And if I do, what if he brushes me away again?

The what if's keep making me pause, giving me a chance to back away. And still, I wanted to give us one last shot. And I realize it might not even be worth it at the end, there's a huge chance that that would be the case, but there's also a small, small chance this could heal me, and make me HAPPY. And I may have missed some calculations in my head because I decided that that small, small chance is much more worth it. "

So you type. And you sent. And when you did, let out a breath, like a huge weight had been lifted off your chest. And you turn off your phone, and clutched it to your palm. Waiting for a response.

A response which could either make you, or break you. You shut your eyes, and pray its not the latter.
© dems_ekaye