Existential crisis or Spiritual Awakening
"I am the observer not the Doer"

My curiosity revolves around -

1. What happens to us after death?

2. Is there Rebirth/ Karma. Does Spirituality exist or the "Spirit" just an assumed concept. So the law of karma applys to all sentient beings (bhogyoni) or just to we evolved humans (karmayoni). Are all these concepts real ?

3. Who rules/ manages Humans and other life forms on Earth.
• The gods of various religions.
• The cosmos ( The planets, Abstract celestial being)
• Is it a very random occurrence, like the evolution of sapiens from apes ?

4. Is Astrology true? Is our life cycle and fate governed by planets, if yes, then is the galaxy or the planets our masters and creators?

5. What am i seeking for ?
• A better human experience (Occupation theraphy, Materialism, countless stuff, surpassing peers, health/fitness, zero anxiety/fearlessness, validation, infinite rich experiences to numb my system)
• Do i keep myself fiercely busy and do any productive/ meaningless stuff to stop overthinking on life.
OR
• Do I prefer Salvation?

6. Does Salvation/ Moksha/ Nirvana really exist? Or is it "one life-time" ?

7. What is the purpose of human life?
Am i having an existential crisis ? Is there Free will or partial determinism.

8. Do i become a hermit ? Am i ready for a material free and simple life? One w/o perpetual novelty, competition and comparisons?

9. Do i need to know the unknown? The infinite? Or just finish my lifetime without bothering myself.

Whatever may be the right thing to pursue at the moment but i would definitely not trade off salvation with any exclusive life here on Earth. The state of Apatheia and pure consciousness is the ultimate calling. Freeing from this physical world, a desireless state, not tangled with any hooks or longingness that may force me to rebirth.

At the moment am an Agnostic and in limbo state due to lack of tangible proof, I lean more towards an empirical understanding of humanity and the universe.

© cacti