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Here I stand
A life lived is a gift we are given with the challenge to find purpose, I have lived beyond my 37 yrs on this earth and I have endured its pain & suffering. I write this as a man whose family and friends have all removed their lives from mine leaving me to stand alone, with 8 of the last 10 yrs homeless. Many winters I have spent under bridge's and temperatures well below -0° with 3 feet of snow on the ground. This is not due to drugs or alcohol use rather the crashing weight of sadness.
August 1, 2016 I was a single father of 4 working as a on site maintenance man I had much the same responsibilities as my boss who was on site property manager for 4 complexes across town. I was also running a successful business, by the end of that same month in 2016 I had lost everything.
Over the next year my mom, sister and all extended family had nothing to do with me. this is when I as a father allowed my kids to be adopted to "family" afterwards I found myself hated by those who didnt understand my reason. I was back living on the street and unwilling to except help by shelters and other programs for one reason, If I can not even help myself no one else could either.
September 2017 3 days before the twins 9th birthday I went for my last visit and made one thing clear to them. I will always be dad and it's because I'll always be your dad that I must take your tears away before you have a understanding of why. I can not hold on til I have to lie to those girls everytime I'm holding then on the street sayin to them everything will be okay.
I tell this story so I can say this to you as my reader, no matter where you're reading this or your struggle. You are important to myself and the world, you are a beautiful person who is needed. You are perfect without you the world would be out of balance, I will continue on in my next story about this. God loves you, no need to look for his presence for if not for him we would not exist because this life and everything in this world plays its roll. Without bad there's no good these are our blessings and will be rewarded that's a promise...
August 1, 2016 I was a single father of 4 working as a on site maintenance man I had much the same responsibilities as my boss who was on site property manager for 4 complexes across town. I was also running a successful business, by the end of that same month in 2016 I had lost everything.
Over the next year my mom, sister and all extended family had nothing to do with me. this is when I as a father allowed my kids to be adopted to "family" afterwards I found myself hated by those who didnt understand my reason. I was back living on the street and unwilling to except help by shelters and other programs for one reason, If I can not even help myself no one else could either.
September 2017 3 days before the twins 9th birthday I went for my last visit and made one thing clear to them. I will always be dad and it's because I'll always be your dad that I must take your tears away before you have a understanding of why. I can not hold on til I have to lie to those girls everytime I'm holding then on the street sayin to them everything will be okay.
I tell this story so I can say this to you as my reader, no matter where you're reading this or your struggle. You are important to myself and the world, you are a beautiful person who is needed. You are perfect without you the world would be out of balance, I will continue on in my next story about this. God loves you, no need to look for his presence for if not for him we would not exist because this life and everything in this world plays its roll. Without bad there's no good these are our blessings and will be rewarded that's a promise...
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