I'm tired of life.
I no longer want to live. I no longer want to continue a life so monotonous in contrast to the beauty around me.
I feel useless, living the same life I have since I was a babe. I'm tired of being treated like the youngest child despite being the oldest.
I hate the life of being looked down at with pity, eyes asking questions and someone answering for me.
"Oh, he's been like that since birth".
I might be lame but I sure am not dumb and needing someone to answer for me.
I sigh again as we get to the gate called Beautiful.
My spot was vacant because almost everyone knew I stayed there and did the only job I have ever known - begging for money, again and again.
I close my eyes, imagining I were a priest, leading the people through the Sabbaths, entering the holiest of Holies, and revered and respected by everyone.
I dreamed of being a shepherd, leading my sheep through a vast expanse of lush grass, and listening to the lull of still water.
I open my eyes, it's all a dream anyway. I'd always be stuck here, waiting on everyone who comes to the temple to drop a penny or two on my plate.
Dreams don't come true.
"Or maybe they do" a voice in my head counters.
I shake my head,as if to wave those thoughts off.
I dreamt of walking long distances, leaping like everyone else did when I was a child.
I dreamt of people looking at me with admiration instead of pity.
Of a woman looking at me with stars in her eyes, but that's never going to happen, is it?
" Maybe your miracle is just around the corner" The voice in my head says.
Does God still perform miracles?
I thought of that man called Jesus, they said he was the Son of God, maybe if I met him, he could have made me walk.
Shoving my thoughts aside, I look up and see people trooping in.
Oh, it was the hour of prayer.
Maybe I could get some lunch.
Two young men, talking as they went , walked by my side.
I held the robe of the one on my right.
" Good sir, if I could have some food"
He and his friends paused.
He looked at me and began
" Silver and gold have I none..."
My hands slipped off his robe.
Oh, he was poor, I thought with a grim expression.
"But such as I have, I give to you"
I don't want your poverty, I have enough of it.
" In the name of Jesus Christ, of Nazareth, rise up and WALK"
He pulled my already dropping hand and lifted me to my feet.
My feet?!
I'm standing on my feet!
Everyone was as a standstill, as I took the first step as he held me.
Joy built up in me, my chest almost bursting forth.
" Praise God!!!! " I heard a scream that I realized came from me.
I felt the urge to jump and I did.
I leaped into the air, gratitude filling my whole being as I remembered how I longed to leap like other children did when I was younger.
I could be a shepherd, I could be a priest, I could be anything I wanted because I could stand on my two feet.
He said in the name of Jesus.
I never met Jesus but Jesus made my dreams come true.