You are everything i could have ever imagined and dreamed of. Yet you still dont see it after nearly 7 months i thought by now you would realize how much you mean to me and how much i love you after 7 months with me you begin to feel sad and depressed all over again as if i cant make you happy anymore as if our relationship was a pill and it has no more effect on you as if youve become immune to the medication of our "happy" relationship you begin to think i am not faithful and question me you begin to check my phone more worried about other people rather then me or yourself there is only so much i can do to try and make this better but it seems as if my efforts  are useless because if they worked you would not cry as you hold my hand or feel alone even if you are you would feel my presence and love i have for you around you as if it were a hug you have yet to know my everyday thought is you yet to realize that when you are alone i am with you the most in thought in prayer in mind in hope that you no longer feel alone you have yet to realize that my heart is one with yours. You feel alone when your not and how can i fix it? I know i cant but how do you lay at home with hopes of a peaceful nights sleep when one person who means the world to you will get a sleepless night how do i clear my head when i know yours is so dark how can i lay and try and be at peace when you are suffering? I cant so i cry because what does one do when the love of there life is in pain. When the person they love feels so lost when you have done nothing but try and be there light just to feel as if i was a flashlight turned off to feed this depression so much time of darkness. I have tried my best to do what i can for you but i feel as if maybe i am no longer your solution. 7 months and you are back at where you began i no longer feel as if i am the key to your happiness no matter how much i wish i could be i am lost because when ...when will i be enough to be the cure to your long life of pain when will i be enough to stop something that has become a part of you? I wont be ... i cant  be.. you have brought many things into my life laughter smiles kisses and hugs like no other person before you...you have given me a second chance to make my life right when i was the one who made my life so wrong but i can not do the same to you. I dont know what to think anymore or how to feel about this...ive done what i could but still it is not enough and i dont know or think if it will be... i pray it gets better i pray you finally realize that the past is the past and you stop it from destroying your future i pray you one day see what i had always seen from the moment i first saw you i pray you open your eyes one day and realize how much better it could be. I know words hurt but they are not something that should determine who you will become or who you are. I love you with everything i am and could possibly be...i love you beyond the love i could ever hope to have.... i love you more than anything or anyone i have ever loved, but i dont know what else i can do at this point. How long will i have to live in the fear of losing someone i love to this battle ? How much worry must i have to feel normal how much pain must i feel to feel relief ? How much more tears can i cry for ot all to go away what can i do to make it stop? I dont know the answer anymore .... i just dont know... if i could take it all away i would and i thought i was but in reality i wasnt i was digging a whole for you to burry it in but it was always still there. I dont know how to feel what to do or if i can help anymore...i just dont know...      goodnight..
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