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Sobriety: To Those Who Have Only One Life Left
Disclaimer: I'm not trying to be sanctimonious here. I'm writing this because this is the hell that I have walked through, and I do not want anyone else to suffer from the same thing as me.
For a PMO (Pornography, Masturbation and Orgasm) addict like me, the journey to sobriety is unfinished. I bet many men and women may be facing a similar situation right now. The withdrawal symptoms can come in destructive: the urge to go on any screen to search for your favourite pornography or erotica website as an unwise excuse to have an eventual masturbation or orgasm session later on your own. But the addicted husband cannot say "I did this out of love", because his wife isn't around. The same can be said for married women and singles. Unlike how sensible couples only do it with the pure intention of having children, since when did PMOs consist of communication and consent, which are the prerequisites of love? Since when did PMOs consist of love between two people?
No matter how helpless you are, please don't give up. This is what the masterminds of PMOs have re-wired your mind to. Addictions will never go away especially if the addict himself or herself feels that change is so difficult. Even if the person has implemented great coping mechanisms to survive multiple withdrawal episodes that involve huge emotions of guilt, anger, disgust, curiosity, etc. such intense feelings can spiral out of control if left unchecked. As mentioned in my previous article, there are many coping mechanisms to allow you to stay clean and sober. However, the most important step to get out of this hellhole (which many people unfortunately miss) is to understand why PMOs are destructive for yourself. It is time to be wise. If you want to invest in your health, understanding how PMOs are detrimental to your body helps. If you are a voracious reader of current affairs, understanding past incidents where others have borne the cost of PMOs helps. If you are currently a religious follower, understanding how PMOs are sinful helps. Most importantly, if you want to know why you are suffering from them, seek addiction therapy. Your mental health matters more than the stigma surrounding it.
The last day of watching pornography on my phone alone in my room out of boredom which led to masturbation was strangely unexciting. Instead of feeling satisfied, there was an emptiness as hollow as an abyss in me. In hindsight, that was a wonderful thing. As someone who rarely received real love, I began to question the acts that I watched. I even started to pity the porn actors and actresses doing those acts online. Where was the consent, communication, and love? None. Even during the eventual masturbation, I was left questioning my future. If I wanted to stay single, would I be able to hide this forever from the world, especially my parents? If I wanted to get married, would I even get to become a parent?
Addictions are escape routes you take to be far from your problems. PMOs are no exception, and we must always remember that they are drugs produced from human lust. Love is the opposite; it builds on human trust and self-acceptance. In this epidemic of lust, let us walk away from it, and towards love instead. Staying sober will be a lot easier. YOLO.
For a PMO (Pornography, Masturbation and Orgasm) addict like me, the journey to sobriety is unfinished. I bet many men and women may be facing a similar situation right now. The withdrawal symptoms can come in destructive: the urge to go on any screen to search for your favourite pornography or erotica website as an unwise excuse to have an eventual masturbation or orgasm session later on your own. But the addicted husband cannot say "I did this out of love", because his wife isn't around. The same can be said for married women and singles. Unlike how sensible couples only do it with the pure intention of having children, since when did PMOs consist of communication and consent, which are the prerequisites of love? Since when did PMOs consist of love between two people?
No matter how helpless you are, please don't give up. This is what the masterminds of PMOs have re-wired your mind to. Addictions will never go away especially if the addict himself or herself feels that change is so difficult. Even if the person has implemented great coping mechanisms to survive multiple withdrawal episodes that involve huge emotions of guilt, anger, disgust, curiosity, etc. such intense feelings can spiral out of control if left unchecked. As mentioned in my previous article, there are many coping mechanisms to allow you to stay clean and sober. However, the most important step to get out of this hellhole (which many people unfortunately miss) is to understand why PMOs are destructive for yourself. It is time to be wise. If you want to invest in your health, understanding how PMOs are detrimental to your body helps. If you are a voracious reader of current affairs, understanding past incidents where others have borne the cost of PMOs helps. If you are currently a religious follower, understanding how PMOs are sinful helps. Most importantly, if you want to know why you are suffering from them, seek addiction therapy. Your mental health matters more than the stigma surrounding it.
The last day of watching pornography on my phone alone in my room out of boredom which led to masturbation was strangely unexciting. Instead of feeling satisfied, there was an emptiness as hollow as an abyss in me. In hindsight, that was a wonderful thing. As someone who rarely received real love, I began to question the acts that I watched. I even started to pity the porn actors and actresses doing those acts online. Where was the consent, communication, and love? None. Even during the eventual masturbation, I was left questioning my future. If I wanted to stay single, would I be able to hide this forever from the world, especially my parents? If I wanted to get married, would I even get to become a parent?
Addictions are escape routes you take to be far from your problems. PMOs are no exception, and we must always remember that they are drugs produced from human lust. Love is the opposite; it builds on human trust and self-acceptance. In this epidemic of lust, let us walk away from it, and towards love instead. Staying sober will be a lot easier. YOLO.
