Do you ever feel lost all your life. Your head is filled with doubts,regrets, and self loathing. I feel like I'm drowning. My head feels like problems in my head are spinning around me that are invisible to the people who are near or far. Friends never last. Relationships feel like their holding on by a thread. My head feels like it's under water. When I escape it's another reality but a place that feels comforting. When I close my eyes, I see a library like Belle had in beauty and the beast. Filled with all my favorite books. A comfortable recliner with dark roast coffee. The stress feels limited. Once you face the reality then your back to where you started. You try to say your fine but then looking back at what made you depressed and escape your reality just brings you back to that.
In my head it's the constant questions I need reassurance on. Am I enough? Do people look at me as a disability and lie and say otherwise? Words have no answers to my questions. It just like an never ending battle you have to face. Do I need a reality check?? To be honest sometimes I do. But most of the time, I don't. I just need reassurance and those you thought had your back well I guess I will never know now.