"what about you Rahul,
I have cleared the exam with first class "

I let the earpiece within my chin and looked into my laptop as I entered my registration code,
There it goes graded 'D' in maths and physics,
Yes I have failed, in two subjects.

I could feel my throat getting soar drying with my breath, I mumbled around my chair as  no-one's really here anymore since they all cleared their 12th examination. I have devastated a year of all those hope that parents had in me, I had those similar thoughts of regretting for not studying that well for the exams but those words makes no sense to me anymore.


" Rahul, come on man, what's wrong ?"

I didn't wana speak to him, neither to anyone.i I let the earpiece down and tried letting the various thoughts that seems to wander around my head. I needed some water, may be I need someone to talk to.
What shall I tell to my brother who's waiting for me out at the hall to pick me back home,
Those cigarette ashes, empty rum bottles, the imaginative blunder jokes we made each other , none of these seem's make me happy now.
Yes, I am a paranoid.
Was it the calling bell, is it ?

Yes it is!

I opened the door to find my brother standing against me,
I wanted to tell him everything,
I didn't have words to bring what I wanted to tell him,
I swallowed tears back to my heart.

He said,
"Hey, let's go to the canteen !"
I didn't wana say anything to him, any word I speak from now would definitely put me out in tears.

I sat next to him,
He haven't figured out my pain, indeed no one ever did that neither my parents, they always me to study and cop up with the hostel life.
Life was always lonely as hell,

What was that ?
Chicken biriyani,
I kept staring into the food kept in front of me, neither I had the strength to take a gulp from it.

"Hey, it's k , I know what happened,
We all fail at many stages in life,
It's not the end, you will definitely do better next time !"
He smiled.

I didn't know what to tell him, tears flew out of my eyes , I kept sobbing as I had the biriyani with my noses dripping as I inhaled the hot air from the dish with all my sadness burning with it.
For a moment, I let myself cry so hard that he pulled me towards him and hugged me with all the affection that a brother could do.
" Hey, it's ok no matter what happens,
I am there for you !"

For a moment me and my brother were the only people alive in this entire world.


Today it's August 15th 2019,
A year past when he was shot by the militants and honouring me for Paramveer chakra in his name.
I don't know what should I speak out to the crowd around, the mike, speakers aren't enough to make them understand his value moreover I could still smell the taste of the biriyani that we had,
like I had it yesterday, the smell remains eternal ,
Even my brother,
In memory of colonel Stephen Desouza
Jai hind ...