It was just another regular morning, and I felt that I'm not okay. I was not breathing well and had a runny nose. As it was a Thursday; I had dodged the morning jog that we had every Thursday and Sunday at 04:45 a.m. Despite the coldness and the morning mist from Nyiragongo volcano, we were obligated to be present in that course matinale with father rector of the community. We ran from Kyeshero to round about ULPGL1 and continued the road to Terminus towards Hopital Provinciale and came back to the community. It was roughly 10 km long. Given my health condition and strength Every time I stopped at Terminus or sometimes near ULPGL. So as our dean had given me permission to not go in those morning sports. Hence, I stayed in my bedroom sleeping.

After mass and breakfast, I told our dean that I was not feeling well, and he let me go to the hospital. The hospital was just a block away. We often went there to give food to the patients. Upon arrival the sister in charge of the hospital claimed surprisingly: "Eric, you are here again!" and I replied softly: "Yes sister!" She continued "But you were here last week! Pills didn't work?" I nodded and continued to the gate to wash my hands and check my temperature as there had been an Ebola breakout in the area. Next, I went to the reception room. And as usual, Clemence, a receptionist, was there with a lot of make-up as many girls in that country do. Maybe they look good but me I don't like make-ups. I liked to talk to Clemence because even though she was Congolese, we had conversations in my native language. As she was recording the information of another patient I asked her to lend me the phone and then started to chat with my mom whom I was missing. I checked my weight which was good as I had been eating healthily.

She gave me the papers that I had to show the doctor, and then I left the reception room to the consultation room. After a while I met the doctor who was new in my eyes because I was often consulted by Dr Leonidas, a humble and kind doctor. After telling my doctor how I was feeling in language that I wasn't good at, I was surprised when he told me to go to the laboratory for some exams. As we thought, I had sinusitis so I took pills for calm. But the new doctor sent me to the laboratory and the girl who works in the laboratory drew some blood on my arm with harshness and told me to come in the afternoon. It was nearly 10:00 a.m and my colleagues were in class studying English, the course that I didn't like because our teacher was boring. So I went to see Clemence again, she lent me her phone but forbade me to use her data as she was using mbs and the phone bill was expensive in that country. So I used the free facebook with an Orange sim card and I chatted with some of my friends in Rwanda.

After finding that my chat was boring too, I decided to go back in the community to see my colleagues and surprisingly I found them in manual work. I couldn't dodge again because I was feeling okay. I went to the dormitory in my somewhat private room, and wore manual work clothes. I joined others in cutting the grass in the garden. I started telling my friends Janvier and Didier how I was drawn blood asking them if nose stuff may be related to malaria or typhoid. They were also surprised but told me as usual that it was common for Congolese. I didn't comment anything because we were speaking kinyarwanda yet the accepted language of the community was only French. Even Congolese, Ugandans, Ivorians, were not allowed to speak native languages like swahili, luganda, runyankole, mashi, havu, nande, lingala or kinyabwisha (language that sounds like kinyarwanda). So we kept working because we were being supervised.

After that tiresome work we took a shower and went to the chapel for midday prayers. Sometimes praying at noon and coming from the manual for me was hard because praying and my stomach asking for food was challenging. I wished that the prayer before the meal should be in the chapel because I wanted to go in the dining hall directly. Poor me! As it was Thursday and they had a delicious meal-- the kind of meal reserved for feasts or special occasions. We finished the meal and went to wash dishes. As others were going to take a nap, I was ready to go back to the hospital for the results. My colleague Steven also asked for permission and we went together.

Arriving there, I entered first and got a prescription for pills. When I got out, Steven told me that he had seen Rachel, his crush. Rachel was our Swahili teacher's daughter. As our teacher was kind she invited us to her house and that's where we met her children including Rachel. As he was next to see the doctor he told me to be ready and stop Rachel with her group for he wanted to talk to her. As I was done with taking pills at the pharmacy I saw two girls and stopped them, "Are you with Rachel?" I asked, "Yes she's still inside." They replied. "Could you please wait for a while, because there's a guy who wants to talk to you!" I pleaded. They accepted and sat down on a bench. After a while, Rachel arrived and I told her Steven's request she agreed. I was imagining how Steven inside the doctor's office was rushingly talking to the doctor in a language that was hard also for him, since all that Steven had in mind was Rachel Mugoli.

I didn't talk to Rachel and her colleagues a lot, but when Steven arrived he started talking to Rachel and I stayed with the two other girls. When I looked at one carefully I felt like dreaming. I was healed immediately. This is real!!! The girl's beauty was incomparable to other girls I had seen in that country. She looked at me and she asked: "Why are you looking at me like that?" Maybe she was annoyed because I admired her beauty without saying a word. "How are you?" I replied. "I wanted to know how you are feeling." She had a very charming look. Her very sweet voice made me forget all the others. She was beautiful. It was love at the first sight.

In that short time I told those girls many stories. I told them I'm Rwandan, didn't know French or Swahili and asked them to teach and in return I would teach them to speak English (which I don't know also.) "Naitwa Eric, niko munyarwanda, nakaa pale2 (pointing to the community's house.) Niko ku masomo ya Postulat. Niko content ya kuoana hapa3." With my poor swahili I presented myself. They recognized my foreign accent. The beautiful girl was absent-minded for some reason. I wanted to get her attention.

The main reason my colleague Steven had stopped Rachel was to ask for her phone number. One would ask themselves how they would call/text each other, but we had free time on some Sundays where we would go out and explore the neighboring places. Money was not allowed, but we would ask some friends or elders to lend us phones and call. We didn't have phones or paper to write down the phone number, so I went to the reception room and asked Clemence to lend us a pen and paper. I regret not doing anything about my crush. She left in a hurry, saying that she was going to be late for the bus from Kituku or had to take a bike. In my mind I wanted to offer her transport money so that she would stay with me. Poor me!!! What should I pay? We don't have money, even in our free time we went out with only our documents. How could I pay? With love I had for everything was possible.


"My name is Jesus D'or" she said, "come again?" " Gesu D'or" "I don't get it" " Gesu D'or. G E S…" "Okay stop now I got it" I said lying because I didn't understand what she was saying. "I study in level one in public health at ULPGL4" she finished. And I was happy to see that she studies at a neighboring university just 2km from our community. I didn't ask her where she stayed and after a while they left. My eyes were on someone with white trouser with pink belt, green blouse with bag in the back, natural trimmed hair and Airmax shoes leaving and taking a bike heading towards ULPGL road. Our conversation was very short because it was around ten minutes or below. And I started to feel penury inside myself. Steven was happy because he got the number but me was happy and sad. I couldn't explain how I was feeling at that moment. I was still sick but also happy. We went back in the community Steven teasing me that she found me adoring the girl's beauty and also she was looking at me with something. I was disagreeing because I know he would tease with that every time we meet. He asked me her name I refused, telling him also to give me Rachel's number. Because Rachel was a crush of all colleagues in the community. Of course he didn't accept so I stayed with name and his number.

We arrived in the community again and joined others in the classroom where they were reading books as there was no teacher for that afternoon. I pretended to be there but my mind was on the beautiful girl that I have seen. I took Messager magazine instead of a book and read and read but I didn't get anything. I was seeing pictures of me with Gesu D'or together in another life that is different from the life in the community. There are many reasons behind my resignation in the community but Gesu D'or would be the subsidiary cause. After a certain time we had a shower to prepare us to go in adoration at the CPF. Chapel at CPF was well built on the lake shore. There was fresh air and a calm place for praying. It was hard to concentrate on prayer on Sundays because there were many couples that came for holidays, other for shooting pictures (for those who were married), the neighborhood MONUSCO military base of Indians where on Sunday they played their cultural songs with high volume. So on Thursday was only a good day for us who get distracted easily to pray.

We descended to CPF as I said, with prayers. Because after adoration there would be mass and Vespers. I arrived there first because I don't like to be late. I sat in my place and started to meditate on the gospel of that day. After a while Fr Isaac, who was diaconate at that time, installed the holy sacrament at the altar. We started the adoration. I was in a good mood, my eyes towards the monstrance. But after five minutes my mind again was distracted. I started to think about the beautiful girl. She was like the girl in Daniel Lavoie's verse in Belle. Where he sings "Belle, is it the devil who incarnated in her To look away from the Eternal God? Who put this carnal desire in my being To keep me from looking up to Heaven." In adoration of twenty minutes I adored only five minutes and the resting minutes I was somewhere else. We prayed and had Mass as usual and after Vespers. We went back to the community, had our dinner and met with elders to sing. I didn't sing because I told them that I'm not feeling well, which was not true. I asked one of my friends who was a novice to lend me a phone as he did every time telling him that I'm going to text my mom on whatsapp but immediately I went on facebook to search for Gesu D'or. I failed and then opened whatsapp to chat with mom.

The next Sunday we had free time again. That time I was not ready to go with my companion. Now I wanted to go on my own and search for a cyber cafe. So I checked in my wallet which I didn't use, because we were not allowed to have money. I took one thousand Rwandan francs and went to the forex bureau. They gave me 1900 congolese francs which was not enough but I couldn't do any other thing because I wanted the internet connection and a bottle of Castel. First off, I put my medal under my shirt to conceal my identity. The cheapest cyber cafe was at Terminus near Radio and Tv Colombe. So I entered and 5min was 200Cdf so I planned well. I opened my email and downloaded my pictures. I posted them on facebook and went on searching for Gesu D'or when I failed again I logged out all my accounts and I paid for 30 minutes. They gave me a discount and I paid 1000Cdf. I remained with 900Cdf that would buy one bottle of Castel. I bought it and drank it in hurry making sure that I can't be seen with someone who knows me and go to report to our dean.

I went back to the community before the time which was 05:30 p.m to prepare for evening prayers. I was sad because I was missing someone. Next week we went back to CPF to call our parents. I was seeing lake waves and composing a poem about Gesu D'or. She made me a poet I didn't like before. That's where I composed my poem "SI T'AIMER." (If to love you). As we were approaching the date of going on holiday Steven was planning how he would meet her crush and me to benefit from him and ask Rachel Gesud'or's phone number. But our plans were interrupted by our dean who told us that he will take us to the border to make sure that we don't have any obstacles at the border. So we had lost. After checking out of our documents they let us and we headed to Kigali where I got my phone and continued to search for Gesu D'or contact number. After some weeks Steven gave me Rachel's number and I asked her the number but unluckily she told me that she didn't have it. Gesud'or, whose actual name was Dorcas, has left ULPGL for ULK4 Gisenyi campus. She was Rwandan, I was surprised by that because I thought that she was congolese. I felt great sadness but till now I still search for her number. I don't want to be in love with her but to tell her how she disturbed me for a long time. Someone who knows her can help me.

This is the poem that I composed for her:

If to love you

If loving you was a sin
I will always be in the church
To ask for penance.

If loving you was a crime
I would always have the trials
To justify my feelings for you.

If loving you was a song
I would sing it always and everywhere
To profess my love for you

If loving you was a war
I will always be in battle
To win your heart.

But loving you is a gift
A gift that I received from you
From you to me to love me
I love you!

I was ready to love her but it was not possible. This love is reserved for another one. Because now I don't have any obstacles for doing that as there were many when I was in Kyeshero.

This end of my short story. I think you enjoyed it.



Notes:

ULPGL: Université Libre de Pays de Grands Lacs
My name is Eric, I am Rwandan and I stay there
I am a student in Postulate
ULK: Université Libre de Kigali.

© Eric B Kwizera