Reflecting on my past experiences, I have come to the realization that I have always been alone. It is a feeling that has accompanied me throughout my life, from childhood to adulthood. Looking back, I remember feeling like an outsider, someone who never quite fit in with the rest of the world. I would often spend hours alone, lost in my thoughts and imagining a different reality where I belonged. As I grew older, this feeling of isolation only intensified, despite my efforts to make connections and form friendships. Even in crowded rooms, I would feel a sense of loneliness and disconnect. It was a constant struggle, trying to understand why I seemed to be the only one who felt this way. But as I think about my past, I have come to accept that being alone is a part of who I am, and instead of fighting it, I have learned to embrace it and find solace in my own company. While it may seem daunting at times, being alone has also allowed me to deeply reflect on my thoughts and emotions, and has ultimately made me stronger and more self-aware.

I am tired, both physically and emotionally, and I don't know how to express it. It's a heaviness that weighs on me, making it difficult to find the right words to explain how I feel. It's a pain that runs deep, hurting me in ways I never thought possible. It's a constant reminder of the past, holding me back from moving forward and blocking me from reaching out to you. As much as I want to let go and forget, the memories still haunt me, causing me to question everything and second-guess myself. It's a battle I fight every day, trying to find the strength to push through and not let it consume me. But at times, I feel like I'm losing the fight, and all I want to do is go back to a time when things were simpler and stop myself from making the mistakes that hurt me so hard.
© Deba Rath