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Urmi A True Story of a Girl
A happy bright girl in boots and sweaters standing at a mountain top, the same girl laughing so hard with her friends. It was an old picture Shreya found "Mom, is that you!?" she shrieked. "Wow mom you were so pretty and full of life" commented Varun with admiration. Urmi glanced at the photo with little Diya struggling in her arms. "Come to mamma" Shreya stretched her arms for Diya to jump. Urmi sat in front of the bright screen looking at a stranger, a happy girl full of life, it took her some time to finally recognize that it was really her. She felt a pang of pain deep down, it felt as if something pierced through her heart, her eyes welled up. Shreya and Varun were dumbstruck by this reaction for the tears didn't look like happy ones from seeing an old memory, it was pure hurt. Urmi was quick to wipe the pain that spilled by mistake with her pallu. "I forgot to turn off the stove", she ran to the kitchen. There she stood an empty feeling taking over her, unaware of the whistling cooker boiling and about to burst like herself. Her husband passing by turned the knob off "where are you lost urmi, this would have burst now". Alas! No one noticed the storm inside her.
That night she looked at her reflection in the mirror, what she saw agonized her, it was an old lady but 50 isn't that old, her family had celebrated her 50th birthday showering her with compliments of how good a mother, caring wife, loving grandma she was. Yes, she had done everything for her family, had endlessly poured herself for them, but never had she thought to keep a little love for herself. And now she felt void inside her, voice within her has been silent for years unnoticed by her. She ran her fingers on her deep wrinkled face, she stood there flabbergasted "when did these lines appear', in these years of beautifying her children and the house, somewhere in between she forgot about herself. Dark sleepless nights had engulfed her once shining eyes. In the morning she couldn't recognise her young self but right now she was unfamiliar of the old lifeless woman who stared at her from the mirror. She realised with a twinge she had lost herself somewhere along the line and she never noticed, neither did anyone beside her. Maybe because she was what everyone needed her to be, and little did anyone think what she used to be.
She looked at the old picture again. Who was she? A bright girl full of life and dreams with a love for life. crazy about movies, who danced happily like a little girl whenever happy, a beautiful girl inside out. Her past stared at her as if looking at a stranger. Urmi suddenly felt an intense need to justify her prese she is happy, isn't she? And she was content through the course of her life, loving her husband and her kids so dearly, she was glad she had done everything for them. She was delighted at her kids' every step to adulthood; she had always been her husband's support system. She was a loving grandma who little Diya cherished so much. No, her life wasn't empty at all, she loved them all but why couldn't she love herself anymore. 30 years ago, on that mountain top she felt alive that her heart spoke to her. "I will come here again, for sure". She had always done what her heart demanded. She had her own taste her own liking.
Last week when Diya baby asked, "what is your favorite food nani", a lot of dishes came to her mind, but she realised all of those were either her husband's or her children's favourites. Her taste had adjusted to other's liking. She saw movies, her family wanted to see, she went to places her family wanted to go. With an ache she realised, somewhere down the road she had silenced her own heart.
Days went by Urmi had become silent as her own heart. The words "I will come here again, for sure" kept in her ear's day and night. No one noticed anything, as Urmi did everything what was expected of her like a machine in automatic mode.
One morning Urmi's husband found a letter by the bedside.
"Dear family, I am going to find the life that once thrived within me. Don't worry, I am safe and will return as soon as I find myself, Shreya will tell you all at once".
Cool breezy mountain, down to which ran a beautiful river from where rose a new sun which shined just for her. She was once again there as she had promised and for the first time in all these years, she had done what once her heart wanted.
As the morning rain touched her wrinkled face she cried with pleasure, dancing like a little girl, she felt alive; she could feel her heart speaking out to her. She was the girl in the pictures once again.
© Hrishi Pandey
That night she looked at her reflection in the mirror, what she saw agonized her, it was an old lady but 50 isn't that old, her family had celebrated her 50th birthday showering her with compliments of how good a mother, caring wife, loving grandma she was. Yes, she had done everything for her family, had endlessly poured herself for them, but never had she thought to keep a little love for herself. And now she felt void inside her, voice within her has been silent for years unnoticed by her. She ran her fingers on her deep wrinkled face, she stood there flabbergasted "when did these lines appear', in these years of beautifying her children and the house, somewhere in between she forgot about herself. Dark sleepless nights had engulfed her once shining eyes. In the morning she couldn't recognise her young self but right now she was unfamiliar of the old lifeless woman who stared at her from the mirror. She realised with a twinge she had lost herself somewhere along the line and she never noticed, neither did anyone beside her. Maybe because she was what everyone needed her to be, and little did anyone think what she used to be.
She looked at the old picture again. Who was she? A bright girl full of life and dreams with a love for life. crazy about movies, who danced happily like a little girl whenever happy, a beautiful girl inside out. Her past stared at her as if looking at a stranger. Urmi suddenly felt an intense need to justify her prese she is happy, isn't she? And she was content through the course of her life, loving her husband and her kids so dearly, she was glad she had done everything for them. She was delighted at her kids' every step to adulthood; she had always been her husband's support system. She was a loving grandma who little Diya cherished so much. No, her life wasn't empty at all, she loved them all but why couldn't she love herself anymore. 30 years ago, on that mountain top she felt alive that her heart spoke to her. "I will come here again, for sure". She had always done what her heart demanded. She had her own taste her own liking.
Last week when Diya baby asked, "what is your favorite food nani", a lot of dishes came to her mind, but she realised all of those were either her husband's or her children's favourites. Her taste had adjusted to other's liking. She saw movies, her family wanted to see, she went to places her family wanted to go. With an ache she realised, somewhere down the road she had silenced her own heart.
Days went by Urmi had become silent as her own heart. The words "I will come here again, for sure" kept in her ear's day and night. No one noticed anything, as Urmi did everything what was expected of her like a machine in automatic mode.
One morning Urmi's husband found a letter by the bedside.
"Dear family, I am going to find the life that once thrived within me. Don't worry, I am safe and will return as soon as I find myself, Shreya will tell you all at once".
Cool breezy mountain, down to which ran a beautiful river from where rose a new sun which shined just for her. She was once again there as she had promised and for the first time in all these years, she had done what once her heart wanted.
As the morning rain touched her wrinkled face she cried with pleasure, dancing like a little girl, she felt alive; she could feel her heart speaking out to her. She was the girl in the pictures once again.
© Hrishi Pandey
