My existence on earth has been filled with longing ,wanting ,hoping for a person to be all I need ,all I want but has I began existing I met different people who didn't even come near to what wanted but because they existed I created an unreal presentation of them in my head and every day ,every night I'd polish it with imaginations and delusions of them being the person they obviously are not but it's what I wanted to see them has .Some treated me terribly ,some took advantage,some took me for granted ,there came a time I felt stupid but still I held on tight to my delusions because they kept my mind occupied at night when I couldn't sleep and during the day when my reality was too painful to face .Jesus ,a man so in love with me ,who is more than I can imagine, found me along the line and though I was trying to build a relationship,it was still religion ,I have Him who has all the good qualities I have ever imagined and even more than my little head could ever cook up ,He even died for me just so I could live ,I have Him in my life yet I sought out other lovers who didn't come near but I settled for less and they prove to me every single time that they were the "less" and I was actually content with it because I just needed a face to my delusion and they could treat me like trash for all I care,they could treat me less than I deserve and I would accept it ,all this while I had Jesus but maybe I hadn't ,still haven't come to the full knowledge that this man existed ,exists and will forever exist and He loves me ,His attention is on me 24/7 and He wants to treat me better than my mind has ever conceived or my eyes has ever seen in the fancy movies I wished on myself ,more than my ears have ever heard of ,going on I just want to allow the man and actually have a relationship with this lover of my soul ..I remember that 8 year old girl who broke down in tears outside her house because she got bullied at school and couldn't go in because she knew there'd be no understanding for her there .
© God's heritage