I lost my 5-year-old daughter to cancer yesterday.
I still can't believe that she's gone, it still feels like a dream.

She was my only source of joy, I had nobody else except for her.

"Mummy am I going to die?"

Anna asked with Moist eyes.
I felt cold send shivers down my spine, I had crinkled eyes, I lowered my head, swallowed so hard, took a deep breath, and held her tiny hands.

"No baby, you are not going to die, okay!
Mummy is never going to let you go". I said with a Half-hearted smile.

" Mummy"
Anna called out with the most beautiful smile I have ever seen, I haven't seen her smile so bright for a while now.

" Don't feel sorry for me,
I know I am dying but I would at least get to be your guardian angel"

She said with a broad grin and a dimpled smile.

Those words broke me into shreds, I couldn't bear the thought of losing her...
I tried as much I could to hide my sad face with a shaky smile, my face turned red and my eyes were frozen.

All I wanted was to see my baby girl standing on her feet, dancing, riding bikes, playing hide and seek with me, and going shopping with me.

My world came crashing down.
I wanted to do more for her...

But even in her last moments, I couldn't do anything.
I promised never to let her go...
Then why am I standing over her grave holding flowers?
© Joyce Godswill