I walk timidly, careful not to make the ground collapse with all the heavy weight of my burdens. One would assume that a normal ten year old wouldn't have to worry about a single thing, especially about surviving. Well,i guess i have established that i am far from normal.

Consider staying in an orphanage run by the devil himself, except this is run by his sister .Anyway no difference as they are equally brutal, ruthless,arrogant ,and as evil as they can get.To say every day was a challenge would be an understatement of the century ,it was hell!. Oh and please do mind my language living here you are bound to know the cuss words, since it's all you ever here. Every day is a smack on the face living my cheeks flaming red with finger imprints on. Other days it's just a crack of my still developing bones,yah i know i make it sound easy but i had to get used to it.If I'm luck enough the devil locks me in this dark creepy room, tired of looking at my "disgusting face" as she would put it.

Today was no exception ,if anything it was worse.Pangs of pain shot through my bod as i received blow after blow. And to think that was worse i suddenly felt a sharp pain on my back,my eyes going wide as saucers like a deer caught in headlights .She has never went this far.Of course the beatings were accompanied by colorful words, which hurt more than the beatings and a cut through my skin . "and you wonder why your parents dumped you ",she said snickering, "Look at you",her face filled with disgust as she scrunched up her wrinks nose."You are weak,pathetic,worthless ,the world should be rid of your dirty self..."

She went on about how annoying and filthy i am which wasn't new,but she has never said anything about my parents and that hurt me like a bitch.Maybe i am after all not worthy of love.That was my last thought as i gulped down a handful amount of pills. The world is better of without me.

Nomakha Mthembu