I have known my husband for almost 13 years. We had been high school sweethearts and had been married for almost 5 years. Most of the time it was good. In 2019, things began to change for me in a way I would not have expected. He decided one day that he was poly. He told me what his version of poly was and he used it to justify why he needed other women to full fill his needs. It made me feel depressed enough that I attempted suicide. Thankfully I failed and got the help I needed. Now I am a more confident woman than I have ever been. Things started getting better between my husband and I because he spent more time with me instead of having his poly days. This lasted until March of this year when he bumped into an old friend he once had feelings for when he was in junior high. He lied to me by telling me the feelings were not the same as back then and that he was not looking for a relationship. In May, I dumped his cheating ass. This hurts a lot because he helped me get through my teenage years and most of my adult life. Now I am waiting for him to sign the papers while I try to figure out what I want going forward. I miss him a lot and the grief comes and goes like I am riding a rollercoaster some days and others, I feel nothing but pain and sadness. What I did learn is that his role in my life was to teach me what I wanted and the potential of what a real loving marriage could be like. He wasn't all bad, the only complaint is his delusional thoughts of having me and having his cake too. I know one day he is going to look back and realize he made a big mistake. The lifestyle he wants isn't healthy and I believe it to be quite lonely. I need someone who wants to spend time with me and sees me as enough. I am worth investing in.
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