The weather was chilly and I had put on a chocolate brown dress with my favourite red sweater. I was cheerful because it was going to be a lovely weekend with my boyfriend of five years. He had called me the day before and informed me that he would be coming back earlier than he had planned. So he would make up for forgetting my birthday. In my excitement, I forgot that he's the best at making excuses last minute. Therefore, the pain that I was feeling at that moment was actually due to my own negligence. I should have known better!

He didn't show. I waited for eight hours before accepting that he was not just late;he wasn't going to come anymore. I tried calling him several times and got no answer. The excusemaker was back in business. I called his cousin to confirm if he was alright and the cousin told me that they had just spoken and he was on his way back home. He was in town, but it was just me that he was avoiding; as usual. My heart sank. I felt so disappointed in myself for believing him that I didn't even let myself shed a single tear. Like a zombie, I shut my windows and doors, turned off the lights in the living room, walked to the bedroom, took a shower and got in bed. And that's when I let the tears come.

I continued lying in my bed for more than five hours just staring at the ceiling, wondering what was so wrong with me that someone could treat me so poorly; without a care for how his actions were making me feel. Was it my fault? Was I too soft on him? Or was he just an ass who was too selfish to care how his actions affected the people close to him. What I was sure of was that he didn't care about my feelings. I promised myself that night that it would be the last time that I shed a tear over him. I knew that I had to choose between going through the same motions with him over and over again or taking care of myself. So I picked up my phone, searched for his contact, and blocked him. Then I turned off the lights and cried myself to sleep.
© AsherB