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Sin—— Page 4||White lie.
***For full context, please read part 1, 2 & 3 as well from my profile and do share ur comments if you like this story****
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I wanted to say that it wasn’t true but I didn’t feel like hiding it anymore. I had always been dreadfull of the day I had to tell her this truth but now when somhow she knew everything, it didn’t feel right to drag this lie on for some more time.
She broke lose from my hug and collected herself. Moving always from me, sitting at the edge of the table, she adjusted herself to sit on it comfortably.
She took a deep breath and exhaled quietly.
“I had known this for 2 years now.”, She read the question from my facial expression.
“How??”, I asked wondering. I had always felt that it was a well kept secret. I had done everything perfectly, took all the precautions to ensure that the secret remained a secret for a very long time.
“2 years ago, one day I saw a pop on your phone. I opened it and saw a message from your best friend. He was in town and was asking to meet you. I copied his profile URL and sent him a friends request. He accepted it and we started talking. He mentioned that you did not reply to his message and that got me curious. I knew that guy from the stories you told me of your childhood and you always mentioned that you wish you could meet him once but when he invited you, you didn’t respond. I thought you had a fight so I decided to talk to him and help you both get along. He hesitated at first but later agreed. We met at a coffe shop after my college. When he saw me the very first time, he was dumbfounded by the similarities between me and my mother. He even remarked that I am a more improved version of my mother. We talked and talked but I felt that he didn’t like talking about my mother so I played a trick on him. It got him to share everything with me.”, She spoke in a disappointed voice.
Disappointed of what she was told of her mother.
“What did he tell you about your mother.”, I probed further worried that she might be hurting by what she was told.
“That you lied to me about my own mother, that you created a beautiful portrait of her out of white lies just for me but all this doesn’t matter. What matters is that I got answers of some of the questions that I had never been able to get before. I understood why you never tell me much about you and her. Why do I have the feelings for you that a girl can only have for her lover ? Why was I not able to accept you as my father? Why did I never felt that daughterly love for you ? Because you were never my father. You were not.” She was fuming in anger.
“I am sorry. I know I have hurt you but believe me, I had best of the intentions behind it. I never lied to you about your mother. I never told you many things about her and me because I did not have the fortune to know her as a lover. The stories were not lies. I just omitted them.”, I apologised and explained myself to calm her down.
“Since that day, I started seeing you in a new light. Everything, every effort I ever took for granted, I now knew was another sacrifice you made. The feeling of guilt I had for having forbidden feelings for you, suddenly vanished.
I started to think of a way to repay for all you have done and that’s when I realised that even with all the wealth in the world, I cannot repay. The only way I found to be justified was to give you back all you had lost and if not all then most of it.”, she continued ignoring my apology and explanation.
“So, the way you found to give me back what I had lost was by making love to me? When did I ask for you to repay me? How is making love to me gonna return anything to me?”, I tried to poke holes in her nonsensical logic.
“You sacrificed a lot. Your family, your youth, your chance of having a partner and not dying alone in the old age. I knew I could not give you back your youth so I decided to get you a life partner but the more I searched, the more suiteable matches I found for you, the more I got jealous and scared. Scared of what if she breaks your heart, what if she cheats on you? What if she does not feel love for you after sometime? I got jelouse of thinking what if I find the perfect match? then I will have to share you with someone else. I will not be your anymore. I couldn’t imagine you with someone else. It took me 2 years to realise that what I have for you is not infatuation. It’s love. I realised that the match I had searching for you was all along me.”, Her eyes twinkled and her lips curved into an incomplete smile as she relayed her feelings. She wiped her eyes with dorsal side of her hands.
To be continued…..
© summerof2000
_________________________
I wanted to say that it wasn’t true but I didn’t feel like hiding it anymore. I had always been dreadfull of the day I had to tell her this truth but now when somhow she knew everything, it didn’t feel right to drag this lie on for some more time.
She broke lose from my hug and collected herself. Moving always from me, sitting at the edge of the table, she adjusted herself to sit on it comfortably.
She took a deep breath and exhaled quietly.
“I had known this for 2 years now.”, She read the question from my facial expression.
“How??”, I asked wondering. I had always felt that it was a well kept secret. I had done everything perfectly, took all the precautions to ensure that the secret remained a secret for a very long time.
“2 years ago, one day I saw a pop on your phone. I opened it and saw a message from your best friend. He was in town and was asking to meet you. I copied his profile URL and sent him a friends request. He accepted it and we started talking. He mentioned that you did not reply to his message and that got me curious. I knew that guy from the stories you told me of your childhood and you always mentioned that you wish you could meet him once but when he invited you, you didn’t respond. I thought you had a fight so I decided to talk to him and help you both get along. He hesitated at first but later agreed. We met at a coffe shop after my college. When he saw me the very first time, he was dumbfounded by the similarities between me and my mother. He even remarked that I am a more improved version of my mother. We talked and talked but I felt that he didn’t like talking about my mother so I played a trick on him. It got him to share everything with me.”, She spoke in a disappointed voice.
Disappointed of what she was told of her mother.
“What did he tell you about your mother.”, I probed further worried that she might be hurting by what she was told.
“That you lied to me about my own mother, that you created a beautiful portrait of her out of white lies just for me but all this doesn’t matter. What matters is that I got answers of some of the questions that I had never been able to get before. I understood why you never tell me much about you and her. Why do I have the feelings for you that a girl can only have for her lover ? Why was I not able to accept you as my father? Why did I never felt that daughterly love for you ? Because you were never my father. You were not.” She was fuming in anger.
“I am sorry. I know I have hurt you but believe me, I had best of the intentions behind it. I never lied to you about your mother. I never told you many things about her and me because I did not have the fortune to know her as a lover. The stories were not lies. I just omitted them.”, I apologised and explained myself to calm her down.
“Since that day, I started seeing you in a new light. Everything, every effort I ever took for granted, I now knew was another sacrifice you made. The feeling of guilt I had for having forbidden feelings for you, suddenly vanished.
I started to think of a way to repay for all you have done and that’s when I realised that even with all the wealth in the world, I cannot repay. The only way I found to be justified was to give you back all you had lost and if not all then most of it.”, she continued ignoring my apology and explanation.
“So, the way you found to give me back what I had lost was by making love to me? When did I ask for you to repay me? How is making love to me gonna return anything to me?”, I tried to poke holes in her nonsensical logic.
“You sacrificed a lot. Your family, your youth, your chance of having a partner and not dying alone in the old age. I knew I could not give you back your youth so I decided to get you a life partner but the more I searched, the more suiteable matches I found for you, the more I got jealous and scared. Scared of what if she breaks your heart, what if she cheats on you? What if she does not feel love for you after sometime? I got jelouse of thinking what if I find the perfect match? then I will have to share you with someone else. I will not be your anymore. I couldn’t imagine you with someone else. It took me 2 years to realise that what I have for you is not infatuation. It’s love. I realised that the match I had searching for you was all along me.”, Her eyes twinkled and her lips curved into an incomplete smile as she relayed her feelings. She wiped her eyes with dorsal side of her hands.
To be continued…..
© summerof2000
