16 views
A monk or a punk ?
A feeling of profound melancholy
I don't feel relaxed and calm, something is bothering me.. my life path is intriguing also bewildering. Each morning i wake up with bouts of anxiety and fear that doesn't seem to leave me any sooner. I have lost confidence and courage for every single thing.
Why have i lost it ? What has ruined me ?
Broodingly reminiscing over my bitter past experiences oftentimes wondered why i was always inclined towards minimalism, reclusion and more strongly upon renouncing the worldliness and find refuge in a gompa. This was my escapism from what i felt was a cumbersome life.
Is the Grass greener on the other side ?
Can settling in a gompa bring me peace & contentment. Am i ready for a life without frills and charms ? maybe NOT.
My mind often fickles between a monk and a punk, i sometimes wish to experience as many worldly things as possible leaving little scope for regret. However, i even feel a detachment tendency to quit everything and embrace hermitage.
Maybe both the natures co exist in me but am not able to live solely being any one of them..
As am still the person who's carried away by the bling of the world and the zest to possess others obsessions FOMO etc. I fantasize, enjoy self pampering sessions, like to look good and also enticed by all the materialistic stuff around me.
Maybe later in life i may consider with this thought and even realize it when am actually emotionally and physically more READY for it, as i believe it is my true calling and feel the need to detach from this worldly space and get into the devotional realm.
Or is it just an illusion of a better world, that does not exist despite of quitting with the worldliness? Does minimalism, solitude and hermitage assure happiness?
I discovered Resilience :
“Life offers challenges more than one can imagine and we cannot retreat..but with resilience we can withstand adversity, bounce back and grow despite the downturns”
© cacti
I don't feel relaxed and calm, something is bothering me.. my life path is intriguing also bewildering. Each morning i wake up with bouts of anxiety and fear that doesn't seem to leave me any sooner. I have lost confidence and courage for every single thing.
Why have i lost it ? What has ruined me ?
Broodingly reminiscing over my bitter past experiences oftentimes wondered why i was always inclined towards minimalism, reclusion and more strongly upon renouncing the worldliness and find refuge in a gompa. This was my escapism from what i felt was a cumbersome life.
Is the Grass greener on the other side ?
Can settling in a gompa bring me peace & contentment. Am i ready for a life without frills and charms ? maybe NOT.
My mind often fickles between a monk and a punk, i sometimes wish to experience as many worldly things as possible leaving little scope for regret. However, i even feel a detachment tendency to quit everything and embrace hermitage.
Maybe both the natures co exist in me but am not able to live solely being any one of them..
As am still the person who's carried away by the bling of the world and the zest to possess others obsessions FOMO etc. I fantasize, enjoy self pampering sessions, like to look good and also enticed by all the materialistic stuff around me.
Maybe later in life i may consider with this thought and even realize it when am actually emotionally and physically more READY for it, as i believe it is my true calling and feel the need to detach from this worldly space and get into the devotional realm.
Or is it just an illusion of a better world, that does not exist despite of quitting with the worldliness? Does minimalism, solitude and hermitage assure happiness?
I discovered Resilience :
“Life offers challenges more than one can imagine and we cannot retreat..but with resilience we can withstand adversity, bounce back and grow despite the downturns”
© cacti
