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If You Can't Tell Us
If you find your child not confiding in you, regardless of his/her age, you have failed in a very important subject of parenting : Trust.
Result will be that your child will try to find this trust in strangers. And if that trust, that only trust he/she has in someone, gets broken by any means, he/she is left shattered.
At that time you'd try to do everything to bring him/her back to normalcy and because you won't have any idea of the reason, you'll say things like 'WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?', in a frustrating manner, or 'IF YOU CAN'T TELL US, WHO ELSE ARE YOU GOING TO TELL!', again in a restless manner.
Your child still won't open up to you, because now there will be struggles added of how to tell you, whether to even tell you or not, what are you going to think of him/her, what will be your reaction, and so on.
And this adds fuel to the fire of his already disoriented state, and you are never going to know this, until or unless he/she themselves say things.
Now why this happens?
Take your own example.
Let's say you work somewhere. 'Once something came up and asked a colleague of yours to help you this time and you'll be very grateful and will help in return also whenever needed. But the colleague denied your request saying that he is way too busy.' You realised the sitution and said that it's ok. Again at some other point of time you asked for help and the colleague denied with another reason. Then again it happened with a different excuse. Please note that' this is the only colleague that you have been trusting for so long, he's friendly cheerful and very kind towards you, and that's why you trust this person only at your workplace.'
But seeing these numbers of denials, WILL YOU TRUST HIM AGAIN TO ASK FOR ANY HELP?
Most probably no.
The same goes with your child, regardless of his/her age!
If he's a kid and does something very ashmaeful, or tells you...
Result will be that your child will try to find this trust in strangers. And if that trust, that only trust he/she has in someone, gets broken by any means, he/she is left shattered.
At that time you'd try to do everything to bring him/her back to normalcy and because you won't have any idea of the reason, you'll say things like 'WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?', in a frustrating manner, or 'IF YOU CAN'T TELL US, WHO ELSE ARE YOU GOING TO TELL!', again in a restless manner.
Your child still won't open up to you, because now there will be struggles added of how to tell you, whether to even tell you or not, what are you going to think of him/her, what will be your reaction, and so on.
And this adds fuel to the fire of his already disoriented state, and you are never going to know this, until or unless he/she themselves say things.
Now why this happens?
Take your own example.
Let's say you work somewhere. 'Once something came up and asked a colleague of yours to help you this time and you'll be very grateful and will help in return also whenever needed. But the colleague denied your request saying that he is way too busy.' You realised the sitution and said that it's ok. Again at some other point of time you asked for help and the colleague denied with another reason. Then again it happened with a different excuse. Please note that' this is the only colleague that you have been trusting for so long, he's friendly cheerful and very kind towards you, and that's why you trust this person only at your workplace.'
But seeing these numbers of denials, WILL YOU TRUST HIM AGAIN TO ASK FOR ANY HELP?
Most probably no.
The same goes with your child, regardless of his/her age!
If he's a kid and does something very ashmaeful, or tells you...
