I searched around trying to find a writing piece that explains what I feel ,I couldn't find any then it struck me that I have the ability (Glory to God) to line up words in such a way that my emotions are expressed in a powerful and interesting way ,So I'll write ...
Everybody pisses me off ,it's like I'm out there trying to tear apart people who dare to say the wrong things ,I have a friend ,I decided to let her in on what I feel ,she unvalidated my emotions and dared to ask me how ,if only I had replied ,she wouldn't only have known how ,she'd have known why to never act like people's emotions don't matter ,then again they are really not at fault ,it's not by their doing I'm in this season and I don't blame them for not understanding , Nobody can understand what I really feel the way it feels like my heart is tearing apart each day ,even I can't really express it maybe I can but because all my life expressing myself has been a struggle ,you dare to say how you feel and you should get ready to be shot by words sharper than your frail heart can take .I'm tired of feeling like I'm in a cell and I can't express myself ! im tired of dealing with everyone's faults and not being able to voice out but when they spot just a little stain their voices are louder the loudest and their criticism so unwise yet loud ,I want to hurt them with my words ,stab them ,make them feel hurt ,I want to hurt their heart as much as they've hurt my heart by stealing my voice and ability to express myself from me ,I want to say I hate them right in their face and see them crumble but I can't because the love Christ has for me is greater than this and it's cure to this pain ,but it's a process but this process is difficult!
I really want to be able to express myself ,say when I think you're wrong ,say when I love what you just did ,say I love you ,say you hurt me and I'm finding it difficult to love you but I'm trying through Christs strength ...I just want to express myself ,am I wrong in this ?

© God's heritage