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Chapter 2
Growing up in a small town in a rural area which numerous wouldn't think this small town called mthatha is one today ...life wasn't as imponderable for me when I had both parents at my side growing up, 3 older siblings 2 sister's and 1 brother in a very infinitesimal 1 room with 1bed, a kitchen counter, wardrobe and tv would fit perfectly which made it seem clustered. Our living style never bothered us as much as we lived with neighbors in our current position as well. As siblings we always slept on the floor on a mattress. And our parents slept on the 1 bed. I would say though being the last born girl is really not as bad as it seemed but being the youngest was a challenge for me. The most attention was on me by my parents as I was very quite and to myself most of my time. Growing up not having what you wanted was very difficult. but the most challenging was growing up having both parents drinking alcohol on a daily basis.
My parents drinking never bothered me because I felt alone already, I felt like I can care for myself because I always enjoyed my own personal space. We lived in a neighborhood with in one green house,many tree's around it and a river nearby. The house had about 4 to 5 other rooms attached inside this building looking sort of like a house. And within all those rooms had our neighbors inside. Each one of us was renting. And all as neighbors we were close to each other. There use to be a shack not far from where we lived whereby there was a taven, and this certain place was where my parents use to spend most of the time drinking there.
I grew up in the Eastern Cape, in mthatha. This is were I was born, lived and experienced my little steps to a big world as a beginner. Being this little coiled up girl I wasn't a wild child, care free, a free soul. I was always trapped in a shutted mouth, a frozen brain, a child that shys away from everything. I never had everything in my childhood because I felt I needed nothing. My parents gave me what they had and could give. However one thing I did beg for in my neighborhood was friends & attention. They were 2 girls and 1 boy I still remember there names up till today. I was about 4 to 5 years by then. They were about the same age as me. This was what I wanted "friends", (Happiness). But I had too much trouble to face as I was never accepted by them and I remember it like it was yesterday. How they would stand together with their arms wrapped around each others shoulder telling me they don't want to be friends with me. How I would break Inside and turn away going home i would sit inside and give myself attention. Because my brother had his friends and so had my sister's they were care free, living and experiencing their teen life in the yard laughing and enjoying the moments spent while I watched from a distance.
My parents drinking never bothered me because I felt alone already, I felt like I can care for myself because I always enjoyed my own personal space. We lived in a neighborhood with in one green house,many tree's around it and a river nearby. The house had about 4 to 5 other rooms attached inside this building looking sort of like a house. And within all those rooms had our neighbors inside. Each one of us was renting. And all as neighbors we were close to each other. There use to be a shack not far from where we lived whereby there was a taven, and this certain place was where my parents use to spend most of the time drinking there.
I grew up in the Eastern Cape, in mthatha. This is were I was born, lived and experienced my little steps to a big world as a beginner. Being this little coiled up girl I wasn't a wild child, care free, a free soul. I was always trapped in a shutted mouth, a frozen brain, a child that shys away from everything. I never had everything in my childhood because I felt I needed nothing. My parents gave me what they had and could give. However one thing I did beg for in my neighborhood was friends & attention. They were 2 girls and 1 boy I still remember there names up till today. I was about 4 to 5 years by then. They were about the same age as me. This was what I wanted "friends", (Happiness). But I had too much trouble to face as I was never accepted by them and I remember it like it was yesterday. How they would stand together with their arms wrapped around each others shoulder telling me they don't want to be friends with me. How I would break Inside and turn away going home i would sit inside and give myself attention. Because my brother had his friends and so had my sister's they were care free, living and experiencing their teen life in the yard laughing and enjoying the moments spent while I watched from a distance.
