I couldn't sleep.
The memories keep haunting me. I was just fine until a couple of hours ago.
Then he called me,after a long time. I've literally practiced for that moment so many times in my head saying I don't recognize his voice. Even though I could possibly recognize him even if he doesn't speak a word. But I screwed up my plans on hearing his voice.So lame right?

To be honest my mind was blank.
I wanted to scream at him, but was so soft on my words .That's not me!

The truth was I didn't want him to hear my heart beating out of my chest.
I don't have words to describe our relationship. Never known if we had one.Sometimes I wonder whether it's like sky, don't know where it started or ended or is it just an illusion.

Anyway after a casual talk from his side and awkward replies from my side he bid goodbye.
letting me wonder why he had called & am scared that I'll never hear from him again. I know he moved on.

Back in days, I've said so many times not to call me again. but I don't have the guts to do that anymore. What if he actually did that?

He's not meant for me. I know that. Still...
Guess am a firefly chasing the moonlight.



© cal
#love#hope#relationship