A shiver runs through my body for the third time that day and I clench my jaw before gritting my teeth, closing my eyes and thinking about things that are meant to be peaceful, nothing like the storm raging in the equestria

The gust of wind and flash of light I feel without opening my eyes let's me know that jesta was back from wherever he went when he wasn't being hassled by me

I hear more than see him shiver too, still trying to block the images filling my mind

" I might actually choke on all the energy in here, who in the world is causing up a storm? " he asks taking a sit beside me and proceeding to do the same thing I was doing

"what level is it? " jesta asks and I breathe in

" dark " I reply simply

" how dark? " he replies and I breathe in again, pushing away the images unwillingly forced into my head

" it's bad enough for you to not want to do anything about it? Even your usual manipulation? " he asks and I'm tempted to open an eye and throw him a look that he would then pretend not to see

"I can't change a person's heart jesta"
I state simply, clenching my fists,

the air only gets thicker and it's almost overwhelming, Jesta breathes in deep and his eyes pop open

" amatin why isn't it fading? " he asks and I'm tempted not to answer him, I could see everything but still couldn't fully understand it

" he's mourning " I say and I hear jesta sigh, probably less than amused at my less than enlightening answers

" so he desires necromancy? " jesta says and I nod stiffly

" I don't understand why it's dark then, we have had alot of desires from people who wanted a loved one back, you always found a way to manipulate an outcome if you took a desire up" I sigh and finally open my eyes, meeting jestas eyes and ignoring how hard it was to breathe

It almost made me mad

" the outcome would be the same " I say feeling so tired, so done with this situation and how ridiculous it was,

Jesta looks at me quisically

" amatin you sound like you've tried to do something about it "

I shake my head

" jesta as happy as your faith in my ability to have my way in impossible situations flatter me, there are some things that I cannot change which you are well aware of "

" results that stem from human choices " he offers and I nod

"sometimes even factors are not enough, sometimes the human heart is so evil so buried in its own problems that it goes against everything else and follows it's instinct "

Jesta looks at me carefully, like he's confused at my behavior, it's been ages since a desire ripped through me like this, so much that I wasn't even trying to fix it, respecting my own boundaries

" amatin-" he starts

" he killed his daughter, infront of his wife and mother " I say breathing in shakily, the equestria is quiet, you'd be able to hear a pin drop

" his mother was there, so was his wife, what other factor could I possibly use when even their presence didn't change a thing? Now he wants his daughter back but it's still going to happen again jesta cuz I have no control over human choices "

I swallow, the grief the man felt filling me and it left something bitter in my mouth

" do you know how she died? He threw her around and slammed her head against their living room floor. Why? She had stolen from him, took a few dollars to buy her sick mother medicine. Something the man had neglected to do because all he ever did was drink and beat the both of them " I hear him breathe out shakily

"now his desire for a second chance is so strong that it makes me want to vomit and what makes me so unbelievably angry is that he'd do it all over again, jesta I could put in a 100 factors and it still wouldn't change a thing, not with that wicked of a heart, so I'm just going to meditate till it goes away " I add in a slightly less gloomy voice which jesta sees right through

It's quiet for a while longer till there's a hand squeezing at my shoulder

"I know what you're thinking amatin. That little girls death is not on you, you're not responsible for the choices humans make neither can you change them" I breathe in deeply

"of that I am well aware, It is not that I don't want to go back in time if it would help the girl live. It is that I simply cannot, I have scanned through a thousand different outcome and in none does she survive, and it's not of any fault of hers"

Jesta fixes me with an intense look and I swallow the lump in my throat. The man's grief would take over three human days to completely dissapear from the equestria given how strong it was and I knew a part of me will always mourn the little girl I knew I could not save

" her father's heart jesta, it's ruthless and dark, it's selfish and half of the time clouded by the alcohol he consumes and drugs he takes, he beat them for even staring at him too long and somehow he thinks he's allowed to feel all this grief? To want her back even though he killed her? Even though he'd still be the same horrible person to her again? Jesta I do not understand it and I cannot reconcile it, everyday I learn something new about the human race, and as much as those things have been exciting, the ones that are unimaginably dark fill me with rage and something alot like despair "

Jesta sighs deeply " you have powers that give you the ability to do Good, to change a fate and manipulate time, it has always been your blessing amatin"

The air clears alittle and my eyes see the man in an orange jumper, sitted on a tiny bed and surrounded by grey prison walls, his head is buried in his hands and his shoulders shake, the scene changes into half a minute later and the man pulls a blunt from under his pillow with a bottle of alcohol and I nearly very nearly collapse his lungs

" you're right jesta, but sometimes, it is also my curse"


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Hey you guysss, so tttj is basically a book that's focused on the human nature and probably alternate universes where different decisions led to different outcomes and also how something's are alot more key like the kind of person. Well I hope y'all like it


© tonnaV