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Am i a curse ( just a conversation)
In a hospital
(Knock on door) "Rebecca, can i come in? "
" sure, come in. " She replied. " Hi, Aunt Mailey, why r u crying? " Her aunt near her with tears. She hug her tightly and apologize to her with a broken heart.
Rebecca close her eyes "aunt, the most painful goodbye is when you haven't heard it yet your heart already feels it." Her voice seem so weak. "Correct me if i'm wrong, please... "
Her aunt nodded. " Canessa passed away 3 days ago when you're still unconscious and Annara.. She didnt make it last night.. 8:46pm. " she told her with hesitation. " im really sorry.. I didnt want.. " before she could even finish Rebecca asked her aunt to leave her alone. She said that she needs time to clear off her mind. Her aunt leave her with a box full of mails "its from your friends, the dancers. They send it everyday to cheer you up. "
In the next morning, a doctor came in to do some checkup. "Your operation will be at this afternoon. You're ready? " He asked.
"Why do i still alive? "She asked the doctor feeling very lost.
The doctor sigh and he sat beside her "Rebecca why do want to give up? At least why now?"
"Doctor, i lost my mother and my brother in a car accident 2 years ago. My father left us when i was eight and now.. My bestfriend Canessa along with my sister Annara. who's next?.. I have no one left." Her eyes filled with tears. "Doctor, am i a.. Curse? " her voice sound like a person who bear a thousand of pain on her shoulder.
His eyes widening as he heard those words but then he try to form a smile on his face. "Rebecca, you're too many flaws to be perfect but too many blessing to be ungrateful. " He said "you still have friends that need you right now and your aunt, who wasted most of her time worrying about you."
Rebecca sat as she wipe her tears "part of me afraid to get close to people because I'm afraid that i'll lost them too." She look at her hands. Shaking. "I'm a killer. If only i'm the one who died." She said it a feeling of terror.
The doctor pat her head softly. "Overthinking kills your ability to be happy. Its time for you to start something new and create something better."
Hearing those words really annoy her. She get rid of his hand. "Then what!! They died in front of me, leaving me alone?! Doctor.... im scared. Just.. Why it have to be me who stay alive? Why me? Why it isn't Annara.. She have a future and a dream to achieve. All she want is to own a restaurant.. And she's almost there.. almost there.."
"Why not you?" He asked with his feeling of anger. "There will be many chapter in your life but don't get lost in the one you're in now!" He took a piece a paper that full of names in it. " Look at this, there are many lives you save with brighter future. You, Canessa and even Annara agreed to broke your car in order to save a bus full of children in it. If you didn't hit the car beside you, those lives will fade.. And you being here alive is a blessing.. even to your family and your friend."He hug Rebecca. "The most scariest thing in life is not losing someone you love.. Its losing your own self." He said it with a soft voice that contains a scariest pain.
"Why do you seem so desperate to save me?" She whispered in his ears. The doctor looked at her "The question 'am i a curse' is the same question my daughter asked me before she died. I couldnt save her.. thats why i want to save you."He wipe off Rebecca tears. "Rebecca you're strong."
She smiled with her red eyes. "Well, you never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice."
"That's the smile I've been waiting for. Sometimes you just have to die a little inside in order to reborn stronger than before."


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