As a kid I didn't believe in a happily ever after.
I wasn't going to build something, out of nothing.
I had no reason to think that I was going to get saved by a knight in shinning armor.
I did, however, believe in destiny, fate, and love. Only because the words spewing from my mother had no value, her voice wasn't strong enough to carry me into a sense of comfort, and she couldn't care less. Narcissists will devour their young, if need be. I could not understand how, this beastly woman, who is my mom, could live with herself. She is motivated by greed and hatred, and hell bent on destroying anything in her path, she doesn't discriminate, her anger can rain down on anyone, in any occasion. Information that one could gather from someone like her is twisted, corrupt, dishonest and most likely abusive. These days are mostly the same with the exception of my age and her inability to physically push me around but she laid a foundation of fear inside me so deep, that I feel anxiety just talking on the phone with her. She knows how to play upon real emotions I feel and hit those raw parts within me which make me question myself.
She knows how to make me feel guilty for her...