Colorful Chaous(Segment 1/5:Playing With Fire 🔥)

Jan 30th, 2017...
(3 Years ago...)

So I have a really hot and sexy story to tell. I'm playing with fire.  I've been feeling really good right now and a big part of that has to do with this guy Jacob, who was supposed to be my brother in law. He came home from Jail Saturday and came up to the view for a few minutes. That feeling of seeing him again was all the motivation I needed, (and even hoped for).

After all this time it amazed me that Him and I still had an unspoken spark.

We that we are now older and have been cautious and curious for so long, I just had a feeling from the way he was always around when he was home that we had a stronger connection than with most people. 

We've always teased ourselves by not chasing each other... Until now.

I even have to be woman enough to admit that I'm the one who opened the door. It was only two days ago when I messaged him and told him that "I was in the mood to flirt, play with fire,  and with a new flame."

"I would give you my whole body if you wanted it," Jacob confessed back in a message.

That gave me a green light to contiune the conversation.

Stanley had been sleeping the day away so it was easy for me to save and then delete the conversations.
Getting a Few things clear:
Stanley and I were good people but not for each other.
We were not Employeyed.
We had no housing.
We were not sober.
We were parents of a Child with Special Needs and Circumstances...

I Wanted out...

The flames and risks of Jacob and me talking started to expand and grow.  The next day (Which was yesterday), we started talking about what our life would have been like if we got together and I stayed with him in the beginning. I mean I've watched him go through more girlfriends than I care to count. However the relationship that I'm in now has given me so much more determination and aggravation about figuring out where I really want to go with my life.  Jacob says all the right things and has been doing it for years.


While Jacob and I were commenting and liking each others pictures on social media,  Stanley was in his own little world trying to hustle and make moves like always.  I was actually happy that he stopped paying attention to me.

Yet while he didn't really fight with me so much as threatened and put his hands on me physically,  I still told Jacob that I promise  I would get myself out of that situation.

Stanley had been treating his Mother Marcy-Lou the most bad.  She told me her younger kids didn't even want to be in the house anymore because if it.  It broke my heart so bad because I love this family so much, and the one person who makes everything so bad and unbearable is the one person who I'm supposed to be spending the rest of my life with. I just didn't know how much more I could take.

Jacob doesn't know every single bad thing that I've been through,  but he knows enough. I told him that I really think it's going to get bad in this house like it always does.

He has no idea how much we all suffer, but just to see him online brightens my day and mood that this man will never understand. When he told me to "Calm down" which made me stop talking to him for a little bit. What him and I are doing is so risky and in my position it's not even funny...but my heart encourages it to the fullest.

I know a storm is coming.

I messaged him and told him that Marcy-Lou and I were going to make a plan to leave together or we weren't going to leave at all.  I told him all of this, then ended my thoughts with him by giving him two choices. I told him that we could have that one time sexual fling that we've been talking about and that would be that.  Some people consider it a One Night Stand...

The second choice was that we could actually take a chance at having a life together regardless of what anyone says.

I told him to think about that answer before he messaged me back.

He called his mother from the center where he was currently living.  He confessed and he told her "We were talking"!

He also told me that his mom wasn't stupid when it came to him and I. 

"I think your gorgeous, and I wanted to write you all the time when I was locked up but I was told not too. I don't think my mom is stupid when it comes to me and you."

Marcy-Lou asked me later that night (When Stanley was doing him and not giving a crap about me unless he was physically, mentally, or emotinally abusing me)...She asked me how Jacob and I were talking on messenger without being seen or caught.
.
I never gave her a direct answer...

Right now it's almost one in the morning and I'm supposed to see Jacob Tomorrow because I've got a bag of clothes for him that Stanley doesn't wear.  I doubt that he will wear them either but whatever. It's just an excuse for me to look in his eyes,  even if it's only for a few minutes. 

Tonight he messaged me for the final time. I told him that we couldn't keep talking and not have consequences.

Jacob asked me if "I was ready for a war.  I told him that he needed to ask himself that same question.

"I'm always ready," He replied.

Like damn...my saved messages from him give me an orgasm alone! He actually wants me to moan his name. He says that I'm the only girl that he's talking too. Like I've said he has had his share of females. That also scares me to death...

I feel much better that it's a peaceful night and I was able to get some of this out without the baby crying or no interruptions.  Like Stanley did this shit to himself and I don't feel bad because I deserve to be happy too. Right? 

It looks like Stanley and Jacob's sister Lucy plans to stay up all night with me too,  which is awesome. She's not stupid either and knows what's up.  Given the hell she's whitnessed me go through,  maybe she wants me to be happy too,  and still be able to stay in the family...

Its never a good idea to mess with somones heart as serious damage can be done...

Stanley and I were way past Breaking each other's hearts (and each others valuables) on more than one occasion and it was time to move on...