any ideas on how to make this better?
The widow
I was a widower. I had three kids. Caleb is six, casey four kinzi two. My wife died in a car accident shortly after the birth of the kids. I was an independent fundamental baptist pastor. Monday was my day off. I liked to take off the day after the church services. We liked to go to the playground. The kids love to play on the side.
We did not go every Monday but we went most Mondays. I noticed another family that went to the playground almost every Monday. There was a young lady close to my age. She had three kids. She had a son named Nate. Nate was seven. There was Kendra and Chrissy. My kids and her kids liked to play together. She usually wore skirts or dresses but sometimes wore pants or jeans.
She seemed nice. She was qiet. The first week I said hello. She said hello back. That was the extent of our conversation. i noticed that she wore a wedding ring. I still wore mine. I assumed that she was maried. I had no idea that she was a widow. She assumed that I was married. We did not talk to each other. Our kids did interact.
They were very well-behaved. I enjoyed seeing them play together. I avoided her. I kept my distance. One day a lady in the church brought her kids. "Good morning pastor." She said. "Hi, Kathy. " I said. "Hi back," Kathy said. She said helo.
" pastor this is Becca. Becca this is pastor matt grant. "Kathy said. " we have seen each other here but did not know each other," Becca said. "Becca is my Avon supplier," she said. "I see. " I said.
"Your kids are adorable. I am impressed." Becca said. "I like your kids as well. I usually can't be leery of my kids playing with kids I don't know but I have no issues with them hanging out with them." I said.
"Becca goes to Morrison community church but I tried not to hold it against her," she said.
I had never seen mr. Granger. I assumed he worked. I did not consider that she could be a widow. "What do you think of Becca?" Kathy asked, "she seems fine." I am sad. "She lost her husband last year. He had an aneurysm. Chrissy was only two months old. " Kathy said. "I had no idea. " I said. "She is really sweet," she said. "I can tell that she is. "I said.
I decided to talk to her. " bec, I think there is some confusion. I am a widower. "I said. " I did not know that. I am so sorry. "She said. " thank you. "I said. " I am a widow. Doug died a year ago. "She said," Kathy mentioned that. "I said. " I miss him terribly. He was a good man. He was a great father. "She said.
" by the way your kid's activities, I do not doubt that. His legacy endures in them and you. "I said. " you must miss your wife," she said. "I do. She was an amazing lady. She was a good mom. " I said.
"I can tell that she was. I a sorry I have you on the cold shoulder. I saw your wedding ring and assumed that you were maried. " she said. "I understand. I thought you were maried too. " I said.
"I hope we can be friends. " I said. "I would like thst. I am willing," she said. "Oh good. I would like to get to know you." I said. "I would like that as well. " she said."how are you doing?' I asked. "I am ok. Sometimes I am just numb. It's like I don't feel. I just exist. Other times I am fine. I have had some good days. Today I am just ok. what about you?" She asked.
"I have good and bad days. I have had a lot more good days lately. I was numb for a long time. I know that feeling you mentioned. I have felt it. Birthdays and anniversaries are hard. " I admitted.
"He never got to see Chrissy's first steps, never got to see her first birthday. he loved her. He loved kids. He was very close with Nate and Kendra. " she said.
"Leane was a great mom. She loved kids too. She wanted to be a mom. " I said. "He wanted to be a dad," she said.
After a while, we got ready to leave. we packed up our stuff. We loaded up the two vans. We helped each other get our kids into the prospective vans.
"It was nice to talk to you. You understand what I am going through," she said."i am here for her. Whatever you need, just ask." i said. She smiled., "thank you." she said. "Not a problem. " I said.
"So what do you think of Becca?" I asked Kathy. "She is a great mom. She is very sweet. A really lovely person. She is very kind. She is funny. She has a quirky sense of humor. She had good character. She is very godly. She is one of my closest friends. Do you like her pastor?" She asked.
"I do. I am not sure what that means yet. I do. " I said "she could use a friend right now. she is very strong willed and stubborn. It has benefits to it but also setback to it. " she said.
"I could see that. " I said. "I definitely support you two. She is a little more evangelical. She wears dresses a lot but she does wear pants and jeans on occasion. She listens to k-love. She is in her churches worship team. She is not quite as separated as we are. " she said."i picked up on that "I said.