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The Reply
It's been nine days and I almost lost my patience. I'm a restless person I know that's why I have forgotten the fact that a serious life matter needs more time to get settled. At that moment I have given importance only to my unsettled and disturbed mind. I didn't think about his side, I didn't know what was going on in his mind. I just wanted an answer for one of the toughest questions in the world. We did talk for two three times after that call but all those talks were totally out of the topic. Both of us never talked about the 'main topic'.

I couldn't hold myself for any longer.I gave a call to his phone in the evening but he didn't answer. Hours later around 9pm I got a call from him. Hearing his voice I forgot what I had to ask but when he threw up a chance I grabbed it and asked him "Did you give it a thought about what we have talked last time". He gave me an answer which was long enough to cover an hour. He talked about so many things but all I understood was "this is not going to happen in this birth". But few minutes later i realized that it was only a reflex thought came out of disappointment.

After the phone call I felt what a normal me won't feel ever. Usually, If I don't get a clear cut answer for something, I would become the most loquacious person in the world and that would make me keep talking and talking and talking and eat the ear off, of the person. But what I did was the exact opposite of what I thought I would do. Though he talked about several things I could barely recollect what they were. "Be patient, let things happen in their own way". "I can't say that I don't want to be with you, because I don't know". "I have shared the deepest things of mine with you which i have never shared to anyone" - these were the rays of hope that holded up my mind after disconnecting the call. I was not sure about calling or msging him one more time but those words of him made me think in the other direction. What if something positive happens once we get back together after this lockdown? What if he needs me the moment I decide to quit? I couldn't think of losing him because of my impatience.

At night I messaged him saying "You are the best. I'm so proud that I have fallen in love with this soul" and I really mean it. The reply smiley which I got indicated that he was confused/pity because of my reaction, whatever, I knew that I'm doing better than I expected. Before going to bed, along with a good night message I asked him to send the rest of the story written by his best friend ( it wasn't just a story, it was his own life story written by his best friend).

(Will continue...)

© athmasakhi