I dont know why I'm doing this, but I am. I needed to get thoughts out and I guess I'm putting it here. A bit of my story. Just a bit. I had been fired from a job I'd wanted for a year this year. After only a month of having it. Because of health issues I was already having. Then 2 months later, injured my knee so badly, I still can't walk. In the middle of trying to fix that, I've been trying to find jobs, my insurance ended up expiring, and my grandfather had gone to the hospital for very serious, life threatening health issues. Just this year so far.
Ever since being fired from the other job I'd worked out, I still remember how distraught I was about that.
I'd spent most of last year wishing I could have worked at that place. So losing it that fast, was heartbreaking and crushed me a lot. And I isolated after that. I'd also started writing again though. Writing on poetizer after not writing for over 2 years. Other not happy life stuff had happened between that time, but I won't bore you with that. I know I tend to stick more to myself. I get scared of people. I really do. I know that has a lot to do with past trauma and all. I tried therapy for 8 years of my life. From age 14-21 and it was awful. It was a nightmare. And ever since then I've really been in survival mode. I felt completely and entirely alone.

Nobody around me would really truly help or care or listen. I'd developed panic disorder, have scizoaffective bipolar, and I...