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My Awakening
#WritcoStoryChallenge
Thursday, June 18, 2020
8:00 PM
It was a bright and sunny day in Arizona when I had my spiritual awakening. At least, for the first time that I can remember so dramatically.
It was late March and I had just begun doing some real research into politics and seeking answers…the truth. Somehow, from one random video to another, I was led down a very interesting path. (The Rabbit Hole, some might say.)
On this path, I really started getting acquainted with the names in politics. I never followed it really, because I just always assumed they were all liars on some level. Turns out I was right, but the details were so scattered, and so various along the spectrum, that it literally required my time all day, every day for over six weeks. (In order to keep up with this stuff though, you have to continue researching like that forever!! I finally reached my limit.) I began "feeling" different; lighter; as if Light itself was surrounding me and the truth was being given to me in some invisible download, by some entity.
But that day in March is one I will never forget. Something opened up in me. Something pulsated through me like a shock wave, but containing spirits, or experiences from other lives, or a some downright, psychotic episode out of the blue. Something moved through me that day. Many somethings actually. It's a story I've never fully written before so here goes…
It was about 3 in the afternoon and the day had been pretty regular. Nothing weird or strange happened that I noticed. My husband had just finished working and was about to head out to meet a friend and run some errands for the family. We had plans that night as well to be intimate.
Suddenly, I was standing in our kitchen after he had left the house and this rush of dread and fear rushed over me in a cold-sweat. I was in the middle of texting back and forth with his mother when this crazy feeling came over me. I started to say something negative to her about her son because suddenly, I got this rush of jealousy and suspicion about where he was going.
Very quickly, I came back to my senses and took some deep breaths because I knew for certain that he was not doing anything to hurt me. Fear has a way of triggering the tough spots from the past to get you going and it usually works until you become more aware of it.
Anyway, the feeling kept coming and going like tidal waves. At one point, my mind had me convinced that my husband was actually gay and just pretending to love me to save face. What the…? So then I called my husband and demanded he come home immediately. No matter what was happening, I knew he needed to come home. Before he was able to get home, I had gone from, "he's cheating", to "he's gay", to "he's not any of those", to "it's okay if he is", to "he's Planning to KILL me!"
Yep…it got that far. At one point, I was in the shower, trying to calm down and come back to center, when suddenly I seriously felt like he was standing outside the shower curtain waiting for me to peek out so he could strike. He was still going to go to the liquor store to get some stuff we both wanted for the evening and my mind kept playing his evil plan out to liquor me up, slip me drugs, and either do weird stuff to me or kill me. My husband. The man I sleep next to and have never, EVER felt like this about in my entire life. It was as if I was literally losing my mind and going insane. I was very close to asking him to take me somewhere and check me in for mental insanity.
After he had gotten home and we talked, I realized that I sounded crazy and it scared my husband quite a bit. He thought I was losing it too for a second. But then suddenly the fog cleared and I started laughing and was able to explain to him that something else was getting ahold of me. It was as if I was experiencing other people's lives, like a kaleidoscope of emotions flying through the air and through me like flashback scenes from a movie. But it was using my life, my family. At one point, I saw Dark, Full, Black eyes in my entire family's eyes, kids included. I even thought for a second that our dogs were in on it and that my cat was the only one who ever tried to protect me. I was standing in the corner of our backyard, looking up at the sky like someone was on their way to rescue me from them all.
Then before I knew it, I was in the front yard, walking up and down our sidewalk in front of the house. I was in my slippers and pajamas, when suddenly I started walking slowly, dragging one leg off to the side, with my head tilted over like I was a zombie or something. As I was walking, something in me became aware of what I must have looked like and was able to snap out of it. I felt like I was a little girl and I ran to the garage and grabbed the sidewalk chalk, ran back to the sidewalk and start drawing the earth, stars, and hearts, but very child-like. While doing this, I was able to relax and come back to center again.
After I went back in the house, I felt that sense of my family being demons again and that they were all working against me. I saw my youngest daughter was the only one in the kitchen so I grabbed her and led her outside in the backyard with me to that spot I had been standing in earlier, thinking I could take her with me, as if there was hope to save her. But then she looked at me like I was crazy and I saw that flash of blackness in her eyes in the direct sunlight. It freaked me out, so I grabbed her, hugged her tight and told her she could go back inside. (At this time, coincidentally, the neighbors had a crane that was pulling up a large BBQ grill out of their backyard, which is adjacent to the corner we were standing in. This is why I was convinced I was being rescued.)
I thought in that moment, I would never see my family again, as if I was about to disappear.
While all this is happening, and since I had dragged my husband back home from what he was doing, he was back in the office working some more to get more hours, so he was unaware of most of this until I told him later. I was just trying to get through it, without getting sent to a mental institution. Something in me was fighting back.
Shortly after I sent my daughter back in the house, I sat down in a chair in the middle of the backyard and just started breathing. But I still felt like I was under attack. Fear just kept washing over me. I looked up towards the sky and basically played out the scene from The Matrix when Trinity calls and tells them she's compromised. That's all I could say in the moment, "I'm Compromised!"
Suddenly, I was calm. Everything calmed down, as if it was hushed, or pushed away.
I went back into the house and had a conversation with my husband's grandpa who happened to call. I thought I had gotten through the worst of it, whatever it was, and was talking to him just fine. He was talking about coming for a visit again for Thanksgiving and trying to determine which house to rent near us.
Then suddenly this wave of emotion came over me again, luckily, towards the end of the phone call. I seriously thought that he was trying to low-key tell me to go to the house that he visited last time he was here, like on foot if I had to, to escape the house. I was back to feeling like my husband was going to kill me. I had to figure out a plan to get out of the house without him knowing I'd figured anything out.
So I walked into the bedroom and he was walking out and I grabbed him and started kissing him. The idea was to make him believe I was in love with him and onboard with intimacy later, so he'd leave to the store, and I'd make my escape, but while I was kissing him, I realized what was happening and pushed him away. This happened twice. …the look on his face when I'd push him away was heartbreaking…he was just so confused by what was happening too…
I also kept looking at my flip flops, as if I was afraid to put them on in front of any of my family, cause then they'd know I was about to run. I thought for sure I was gonna have to run barefoot or in my slippers.
I kept apologizing to my husband in between all the pushing and pulling of weird scenarios playing out in my eyes, in my head.
He kept going back to work, he had meetings he had to sit in on anyway….
I kept pretending I was fine.
Finally, I was basically having a panic attack. All my family had gone back to their rooms and wasn't around to see me hyperventilating. Suddenly, I just told the dogs to come, opened the front door, let them run out and walked out after them….barefoot.
They ran down to the park that they always run to and I slowly walked after them. While at the park, I was able to sit down in the grass while the dogs sniffed around. There was a group of kids on bikes riding around where I was and they complimented the dogs and were very nice. I started to finally feel normal again. I grounded myself.
After a few minutes, I rounded up the dogs and walked back home. It was finally over.
Eventually, I'll figure out what really happened that day. Right now, I have a couple of theories. One being that my psychic abilities were awakened and I was suddenly flooded with spirit/memories.
The other, is that I was living out situations other people were in at that time, and somehow, I was channeling what was happening at various times, with various people in various places all over the world. (Because there were some parts of my "trip" that felt like I was in another country entirely.)
To be clear, I didn't do any weird drugs or drink any strange kool-aid's. Again, it started out as a typical day, aside from where I was already, spiritually.
So another possibility I suppose, is that it was an attack because I 'woke up' spiritually and claimed my "Faith" in who I was and what was happening to me. Regardless of my personal bliss, evil does exist and they don't like it when people sway further away from that.
I've learned so much since this day. I can't believe it took me so long to finally write about it, but I'm looking forward to where life goes from here.
© JusJessi
Thursday, June 18, 2020
8:00 PM
It was a bright and sunny day in Arizona when I had my spiritual awakening. At least, for the first time that I can remember so dramatically.
It was late March and I had just begun doing some real research into politics and seeking answers…the truth. Somehow, from one random video to another, I was led down a very interesting path. (The Rabbit Hole, some might say.)
On this path, I really started getting acquainted with the names in politics. I never followed it really, because I just always assumed they were all liars on some level. Turns out I was right, but the details were so scattered, and so various along the spectrum, that it literally required my time all day, every day for over six weeks. (In order to keep up with this stuff though, you have to continue researching like that forever!! I finally reached my limit.) I began "feeling" different; lighter; as if Light itself was surrounding me and the truth was being given to me in some invisible download, by some entity.
But that day in March is one I will never forget. Something opened up in me. Something pulsated through me like a shock wave, but containing spirits, or experiences from other lives, or a some downright, psychotic episode out of the blue. Something moved through me that day. Many somethings actually. It's a story I've never fully written before so here goes…
It was about 3 in the afternoon and the day had been pretty regular. Nothing weird or strange happened that I noticed. My husband had just finished working and was about to head out to meet a friend and run some errands for the family. We had plans that night as well to be intimate.
Suddenly, I was standing in our kitchen after he had left the house and this rush of dread and fear rushed over me in a cold-sweat. I was in the middle of texting back and forth with his mother when this crazy feeling came over me. I started to say something negative to her about her son because suddenly, I got this rush of jealousy and suspicion about where he was going.
Very quickly, I came back to my senses and took some deep breaths because I knew for certain that he was not doing anything to hurt me. Fear has a way of triggering the tough spots from the past to get you going and it usually works until you become more aware of it.
Anyway, the feeling kept coming and going like tidal waves. At one point, my mind had me convinced that my husband was actually gay and just pretending to love me to save face. What the…? So then I called my husband and demanded he come home immediately. No matter what was happening, I knew he needed to come home. Before he was able to get home, I had gone from, "he's cheating", to "he's gay", to "he's not any of those", to "it's okay if he is", to "he's Planning to KILL me!"
Yep…it got that far. At one point, I was in the shower, trying to calm down and come back to center, when suddenly I seriously felt like he was standing outside the shower curtain waiting for me to peek out so he could strike. He was still going to go to the liquor store to get some stuff we both wanted for the evening and my mind kept playing his evil plan out to liquor me up, slip me drugs, and either do weird stuff to me or kill me. My husband. The man I sleep next to and have never, EVER felt like this about in my entire life. It was as if I was literally losing my mind and going insane. I was very close to asking him to take me somewhere and check me in for mental insanity.
After he had gotten home and we talked, I realized that I sounded crazy and it scared my husband quite a bit. He thought I was losing it too for a second. But then suddenly the fog cleared and I started laughing and was able to explain to him that something else was getting ahold of me. It was as if I was experiencing other people's lives, like a kaleidoscope of emotions flying through the air and through me like flashback scenes from a movie. But it was using my life, my family. At one point, I saw Dark, Full, Black eyes in my entire family's eyes, kids included. I even thought for a second that our dogs were in on it and that my cat was the only one who ever tried to protect me. I was standing in the corner of our backyard, looking up at the sky like someone was on their way to rescue me from them all.
Then before I knew it, I was in the front yard, walking up and down our sidewalk in front of the house. I was in my slippers and pajamas, when suddenly I started walking slowly, dragging one leg off to the side, with my head tilted over like I was a zombie or something. As I was walking, something in me became aware of what I must have looked like and was able to snap out of it. I felt like I was a little girl and I ran to the garage and grabbed the sidewalk chalk, ran back to the sidewalk and start drawing the earth, stars, and hearts, but very child-like. While doing this, I was able to relax and come back to center again.
After I went back in the house, I felt that sense of my family being demons again and that they were all working against me. I saw my youngest daughter was the only one in the kitchen so I grabbed her and led her outside in the backyard with me to that spot I had been standing in earlier, thinking I could take her with me, as if there was hope to save her. But then she looked at me like I was crazy and I saw that flash of blackness in her eyes in the direct sunlight. It freaked me out, so I grabbed her, hugged her tight and told her she could go back inside. (At this time, coincidentally, the neighbors had a crane that was pulling up a large BBQ grill out of their backyard, which is adjacent to the corner we were standing in. This is why I was convinced I was being rescued.)
I thought in that moment, I would never see my family again, as if I was about to disappear.
While all this is happening, and since I had dragged my husband back home from what he was doing, he was back in the office working some more to get more hours, so he was unaware of most of this until I told him later. I was just trying to get through it, without getting sent to a mental institution. Something in me was fighting back.
Shortly after I sent my daughter back in the house, I sat down in a chair in the middle of the backyard and just started breathing. But I still felt like I was under attack. Fear just kept washing over me. I looked up towards the sky and basically played out the scene from The Matrix when Trinity calls and tells them she's compromised. That's all I could say in the moment, "I'm Compromised!"
Suddenly, I was calm. Everything calmed down, as if it was hushed, or pushed away.
I went back into the house and had a conversation with my husband's grandpa who happened to call. I thought I had gotten through the worst of it, whatever it was, and was talking to him just fine. He was talking about coming for a visit again for Thanksgiving and trying to determine which house to rent near us.
Then suddenly this wave of emotion came over me again, luckily, towards the end of the phone call. I seriously thought that he was trying to low-key tell me to go to the house that he visited last time he was here, like on foot if I had to, to escape the house. I was back to feeling like my husband was going to kill me. I had to figure out a plan to get out of the house without him knowing I'd figured anything out.
So I walked into the bedroom and he was walking out and I grabbed him and started kissing him. The idea was to make him believe I was in love with him and onboard with intimacy later, so he'd leave to the store, and I'd make my escape, but while I was kissing him, I realized what was happening and pushed him away. This happened twice. …the look on his face when I'd push him away was heartbreaking…he was just so confused by what was happening too…
I also kept looking at my flip flops, as if I was afraid to put them on in front of any of my family, cause then they'd know I was about to run. I thought for sure I was gonna have to run barefoot or in my slippers.
I kept apologizing to my husband in between all the pushing and pulling of weird scenarios playing out in my eyes, in my head.
He kept going back to work, he had meetings he had to sit in on anyway….
I kept pretending I was fine.
Finally, I was basically having a panic attack. All my family had gone back to their rooms and wasn't around to see me hyperventilating. Suddenly, I just told the dogs to come, opened the front door, let them run out and walked out after them….barefoot.
They ran down to the park that they always run to and I slowly walked after them. While at the park, I was able to sit down in the grass while the dogs sniffed around. There was a group of kids on bikes riding around where I was and they complimented the dogs and were very nice. I started to finally feel normal again. I grounded myself.
After a few minutes, I rounded up the dogs and walked back home. It was finally over.
Eventually, I'll figure out what really happened that day. Right now, I have a couple of theories. One being that my psychic abilities were awakened and I was suddenly flooded with spirit/memories.
The other, is that I was living out situations other people were in at that time, and somehow, I was channeling what was happening at various times, with various people in various places all over the world. (Because there were some parts of my "trip" that felt like I was in another country entirely.)
To be clear, I didn't do any weird drugs or drink any strange kool-aid's. Again, it started out as a typical day, aside from where I was already, spiritually.
So another possibility I suppose, is that it was an attack because I 'woke up' spiritually and claimed my "Faith" in who I was and what was happening to me. Regardless of my personal bliss, evil does exist and they don't like it when people sway further away from that.
I've learned so much since this day. I can't believe it took me so long to finally write about it, but I'm looking forward to where life goes from here.
© JusJessi
