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The Suicide Oligarchy Part 2
I've made myself into something though. What were bleak and cloudy days are now the days I listen to the chirping birds and drink tea. What were sunny and hot days are now the days I pick flowers on my walks. I've been healing. It's the small things, you know? Big joy and small joy may seem different, but they really are the same.
Today I'm going to the mall with my friends. I made a few friends in sixth grade, teo years ago, and they've continued to be very good friends. But I made a new friend last month, Keston. He's nice and sort of awkward around me, but he'll fit in nicely with the rest of us.
I grabbed my wallet and a jacket and set them by the door, waiting for my father to come down the stairs. He wasn't always bad. There are days where I'm terrified of him and days where I'm laughing with him. You start to forget the bad stuff when you laugh. I heard the jingle of keys and I opened the door. The car had already been started and unlocked so all I had to do was buckle myself in. Thank God I can sit in the front seat, when I was younger I used to get sick from sitting in the back.
He swung the door open and pulled us out of park and into reverse, a smooth gesture honed by over thirty years of driving. Pretty soon we were out of the neighborhood and into the highway, speeding past vast fields and even a dairy farm on the left.
The mall isn't too far away. It takes us only five minutes to get there, and because people are so afraid of leaving their homes it's easy to find a parking spot close to the entrance.
"Now be responsible," he said sternly, "If those girls do anything stupid I want you to call me, alright?"
"Alright. Bye dad, I love you!" I said before I slammed the car door into place. The fresh, cool air was amazing. I don't really like to be in the sun so a rainy day in the middle of summer is always welcome. I jogged up to the sliding doors and spotted Chris's leaning up against the candy shop wall. She waved to me and I smiled.
Chris is a nice girl . She's been to my school for as long as I can remember, and I don't have a good memory. I almost forgot we were even meeting here.
"So, what's up?" she asked, turning off her phone.
"Nothing really, I had to wake my dad up this morning right before we had to leave. He gets mad at me for sleeping in, but he does it too! I don't get it."
"Well at least your parents can actually drive you. My parents had to send me here on a bike. Their car broke down yesterday and it's still in the shop." Chris said, rolling her eyes. I laughed a bit. Chris hates any sort of exercise, so this was torture for her. Oh, and her full name is Christi, but she uses she/they pronouns and told us to just call her Chris. Her parents rejected her for it and still call her Christi, which sucks because my father did the same to me. I came out as transgender a year ago in a Sears changing stall. I cried for about twenty minutes before I finally told him. He said he still loved me but couldn't accept that I was a boy. He wouldn't call me son or refer to me as he, and even rejected a name change. I am called Max by my friends.
"Soo Max, your cat's doing good?"
"Pff. You just want an excuse to get Clamour." Chris bugs me about my cat Clamour all the time. He's a cute Ragdoll breed and he absolutely adores any affection you can give him. He likes dogs and little children too.
"Yeahhh–Oh! Tanya's here!" she pointed towards the doors and there was Tanya, jogging up to us. She looked wide-eyed and full of energy, incredible for the girl who would always come in right at the bell, hair messy and glasses clutched in her hand. Today her hair was neat and her glasses were perched safely on her face.
"Hey guys!" she enthused brightly, "Guess what?"
"...."
"C'mon, guess!"
"No." we said in unison.
"Fine, fine. My parents allowed me to invite the whole group to my birthday party next month!" She squealed. Chris and I started smiling too before I had a sinking realization.
"Hey, uh, Tanya?" I said nervously. "My family is going to be out of town on the 13th. My grandmother is in the hospital because of a coma. She's in Arkansas and I won't be here to come." Her face fell.
"That's okay then, I'm super sorry about your grandmother too. I can save a bit of cake for you though the next time we meet up?"
"Sure!" Glad that was all cleared up and Tanya didn't take it too hard, the rest of the group soon joined up. Keston, Maddy, Allisa, Chris, Bailey, Tanya, and me. A pretty big group of 14 year olds.
© Salem Ferrel, All Rights Reserved
Today I'm going to the mall with my friends. I made a few friends in sixth grade, teo years ago, and they've continued to be very good friends. But I made a new friend last month, Keston. He's nice and sort of awkward around me, but he'll fit in nicely with the rest of us.
I grabbed my wallet and a jacket and set them by the door, waiting for my father to come down the stairs. He wasn't always bad. There are days where I'm terrified of him and days where I'm laughing with him. You start to forget the bad stuff when you laugh. I heard the jingle of keys and I opened the door. The car had already been started and unlocked so all I had to do was buckle myself in. Thank God I can sit in the front seat, when I was younger I used to get sick from sitting in the back.
He swung the door open and pulled us out of park and into reverse, a smooth gesture honed by over thirty years of driving. Pretty soon we were out of the neighborhood and into the highway, speeding past vast fields and even a dairy farm on the left.
The mall isn't too far away. It takes us only five minutes to get there, and because people are so afraid of leaving their homes it's easy to find a parking spot close to the entrance.
"Now be responsible," he said sternly, "If those girls do anything stupid I want you to call me, alright?"
"Alright. Bye dad, I love you!" I said before I slammed the car door into place. The fresh, cool air was amazing. I don't really like to be in the sun so a rainy day in the middle of summer is always welcome. I jogged up to the sliding doors and spotted Chris's leaning up against the candy shop wall. She waved to me and I smiled.
Chris is a nice girl . She's been to my school for as long as I can remember, and I don't have a good memory. I almost forgot we were even meeting here.
"So, what's up?" she asked, turning off her phone.
"Nothing really, I had to wake my dad up this morning right before we had to leave. He gets mad at me for sleeping in, but he does it too! I don't get it."
"Well at least your parents can actually drive you. My parents had to send me here on a bike. Their car broke down yesterday and it's still in the shop." Chris said, rolling her eyes. I laughed a bit. Chris hates any sort of exercise, so this was torture for her. Oh, and her full name is Christi, but she uses she/they pronouns and told us to just call her Chris. Her parents rejected her for it and still call her Christi, which sucks because my father did the same to me. I came out as transgender a year ago in a Sears changing stall. I cried for about twenty minutes before I finally told him. He said he still loved me but couldn't accept that I was a boy. He wouldn't call me son or refer to me as he, and even rejected a name change. I am called Max by my friends.
"Soo Max, your cat's doing good?"
"Pff. You just want an excuse to get Clamour." Chris bugs me about my cat Clamour all the time. He's a cute Ragdoll breed and he absolutely adores any affection you can give him. He likes dogs and little children too.
"Yeahhh–Oh! Tanya's here!" she pointed towards the doors and there was Tanya, jogging up to us. She looked wide-eyed and full of energy, incredible for the girl who would always come in right at the bell, hair messy and glasses clutched in her hand. Today her hair was neat and her glasses were perched safely on her face.
"Hey guys!" she enthused brightly, "Guess what?"
"...."
"C'mon, guess!"
"No." we said in unison.
"Fine, fine. My parents allowed me to invite the whole group to my birthday party next month!" She squealed. Chris and I started smiling too before I had a sinking realization.
"Hey, uh, Tanya?" I said nervously. "My family is going to be out of town on the 13th. My grandmother is in the hospital because of a coma. She's in Arkansas and I won't be here to come." Her face fell.
"That's okay then, I'm super sorry about your grandmother too. I can save a bit of cake for you though the next time we meet up?"
"Sure!" Glad that was all cleared up and Tanya didn't take it too hard, the rest of the group soon joined up. Keston, Maddy, Allisa, Chris, Bailey, Tanya, and me. A pretty big group of 14 year olds.
© Salem Ferrel, All Rights Reserved
