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Closure.
I will not wait anymore, nor hope that things will get better between us.

I pray that one day, for us to cross paths again, or just us live happily, whether we remember each other or not.

Whether I miss you or not, whether i feel sad or happy when you cross my mind.

The hardest thing that you will never understand, is how much you have touched my soul for going out of my comfort zone, for being part of my escape when i didnt know what to do, and for being able to break my silence when i never felt like sharing things with everyone else around me.

The thing was, you didnt know that deeply  I was trying to push myself desperately to seek for my purpose and my goals, before i met you.

Then i met another version of a broken person who got through it, and shed light on me that i was still doing okay, and it sounds so dramatic but that person was you.

I met a person who was willing to listen to everyone, and i wanted to be the person who will listen to you throughout when no one else would be there for you. I wanted to be with you so badly because you just touched my heart and it felt like pouring what i can offer was worth taking the risk.

As you said, i need to focus on myself, and i am. But you cant blame me, when some of the happy feelings that i felt were the times when i was just simply talking to you, i felt that the time that i spent sharing things with you, was worth it, even if we were just friends.

The feelings i have for you is something you cannot really take away from me no matter how much it annoys you. I am moving forward, everyday with the things I want to achieve slowly.

I just wished i was supporting you too, i still am, but obviously, it is not the way we used to be. I said so many things before, ive sent so many long messages, i dont know how many times i have apologised for the times that i have hurt you, and for the times i never understood you.

I was so desperate the whole time to actually try and fix things with you.

So many versions of these feelings have been written and sent to you, but i dont even know how much of it actually reached you.

One thing I know for sure is that, it is a relief for you that you dont have to deal with me anymore.
© cece