life has scaped me.
I can't even feel anything.
his words have hurt me in so many ways I can't even describe it.
all I know is that it's too painful.

I closed my eyes while memories of that painful moment played in my mind.



Flashback...

"elyse Let's breakup" he said as if it was the best way to solve any problem in the world.

"why?" I said feeling my eyes moisten.

he averted his eyes from me and said..

" it's not working anymore"

"what do you mean by that? yesterday we're okay and now you're telling me it's not working anymore?!"
I said while hitting him on his chest. his chest who have comforted me when I felt sad, his chest that I always put my head on. but now I'm hitting it because I know after this I can no longer put my head on it nor cry on it. because after this the 'we' will just be 'me' again.

"do you love someone else?!" I asked him the question I'm afraid to ask because I know his reply would break me. but I asked him still. and his reply did hurt me a lot.

"yes, I do love someone else" he said looking me in eye as my tears started to flow.

" you promised me you would love no one but me. Only me!" I shouted on his face and hit him more. I dont care if I look insane or unlady like I'm hurt. too hurt to care.

"stop. elyse stop it" he said catching my hands that are hitting him

"elyse I said stop!"

I stopped hitting him and just stared at him with tears in my eyes.

"I still care for you. but I love someone else now and I know it's my fault so hurt me all you want. hit me until the pain that you are feeling subsides."

"No matter how hard I hit you, or hurt you. it will never be enough to make my pain go away."

"I'm sorry"

"don't be."

"what?" he asked confusion visible on his face.

"don't be sorry for something you wanted to. because what you did is not a mistake to be sorry for. you wanted it, so dont be sorry."
I said as I turned my back on him.
"be sorry for letting me go." after I said those words I ran away. away from the man who once made me believe in love and his promises.

End of flash back...


"if you want to hide your tears don't bathe in the rain. you'll get sick." An unfamiliar voice said.

wait? what?

I slowly open my eyes. a man was standing infront of me with an umbrella on his right hand and a plastic bag on his left hand.

how long am I sitting in the street side to not notice that it's already raining?
I stared at the man infront of me. he look familiar yet I can't remember when or where I have met him.

"dont stare at me like that. I may not be able to catch you when you fall." he said and flashed me a smile.

what the...?

I glared at him. what a conceited jerk.
"you are not my type!" I said still glaring at him.

he just smiled at me. and handed me his ambrella.

"here. take this ambrella and go home. whoever he is, his not worth your tears so stop crying. girls should be hugged and not hurt them and make them cry. always Remember that." he said and started walking away from me but he suddenly stop as if he forgot something and turned to face me again.

" by the way, the feeling is not mutual! because you're my type." he said that made my heart race and continued... "eversince that day I saw you danced with the rain when everyone was running away from it. you embraced the rain with a smile painted on your lips and that day I let myself dream. that you were dancing for me and not for him." I didn't quite heared the last thing he said it's almost like whisper. maybe because of our distance. he was standing far away from me. he then smiled waved his hand and left me with my now confused heart and mind.

And then a realization strucked me.

No.

I might be dreaming or hallucinating things right now. but I can feel the rain falling on my skin. I can feel my heart racing.

Is it really him?

Is it really Reo loyola?

the guy who I admired for years from afar?

The guy who first made my heart race before?

The truth is... My ex isn't the one who first made my heart race but the guy who just gave me an umbrella now.

I didn't know that an umbrella could make me remember memories from before even feelings too not until now.

I didn't know that from a heartbreak I could slowly heal myself just by meeting again my very first love.

is it possible?


© sweethetic