Today again I feel as though my shoulders had broken apart, with so many thoughts weighing my head down. I wanna make a stand.
It has been my whole life since I yearned for better. At the back of my mind, there, all laid out plainly. There’s hurt in my head, there’s anger in my heart, there are regrets in my veins, ou there’s a lot more than broken glasses.
Trying to understand the beauty of a thorn that hurts, drowning in the sound of the winds and storms. Is this the music I wanna die listening to or is there another type of music I could hear, silence.
Tell me why I wanna be here, tell me for I wish I had not understood a word. Make known to me the purpose I wake to see the sun rise and set and doing it all over again. I have cried, I have yelled, I have shouted and I have screamed, in voices louder than my being, come to my aid.
The words I utter are heavy my tongue cracks, the air I breath becomes thicker by second, I have lost sight although not completely blind. I guess that’s why I can still write.
There’s a light, created and birthed from within, yet the key to my forever remained hidden.
I want to grow perhaps I could glow...maybe there’s more to life than the cracks in the wall I face.
Perhaps there’s life, maybe there’s light, maybe there’s hope.
A voice whispered to me in the silence of the darkest night, where no single star appeared “be willing to relearn, lift your eyes and glance at beauty, order, disorder and reorder over again. There’s Grace, there’s mercy. There’s hope and there’s POWER. There’s more than the cracks you face. There’s life in abundance.” It said. Be done breaking because until then you’ll be breaking.

© Amalia N.K Haikali