As I dim my bedside lamp
I sigh and dream of the women friends I let go

Next to me is a woman I imagined was a lover but it’s only relative as how do I give my lover everything - when the lover has so less to give !

I just wish before I close my eyes forever if there was way to make love connections with a checkpoint as it would save my sanity. And a good fuck is not a criterion.

I say this - because of the following :
How can one be sure a lover will fulfil your wishes ( its like a sales process - accept and I will give you all the program can do and later develop at incremental stages).

Strangely what happens if the promises are not in line with expectations?

I tell you it’s the worse nightmare - the partner is not worth my ‘come’ over her(or him)

So be very weary - we are schooled to take advantage of our low downs, liberties and of course of our deadly libidos!

It’s not a good business in humanism because and generally with high probability you will be fucked physically or emotionally one way or the other so take care !