this is November 27th 2023 and it just gets even worse we have no money to pay everything now we're really not going to have any money they just cut my check off and what makes it even worse is I don't know what to do I'm about to lose my mind I'm about to flip out and I don't know how this is going to end so between everything going wrong in my life and then my kids is life too destroying every hope every dream that we ever had and whenever I try to face my demons it makes it worse for me because I kind of get a little scared and don't know what to do because I want to get better I want my life to be better on my kids is like to be better but how can it be better when everything keeps going wrong everything in our life keeps going wrong if it ain't one thing it's another and it just keeps happening over and over and over again it's like we wasn't meant to have anything or whatever or wasn't meant to for anything in our life to go right because everything keeps going wrong so you tell me what's really going on with recurs as our life just messed up I don't know cuz right now I'm trying to be calm cuz I can but I'm really starting something out I'm really going to start I don't even know what to do anymore our lives have been turned upside down for so long for so many years that I couldn't even tell you or show you what a real life supposed to be about can you show me I wish somebody would because right now I feel like my whole world is falling apart over and over and over again it's like nothing else can even happen to us because it's all been said and done and it's like it doesn't even matter to anybody because me and my kids were always on our own that's the way I feel that's the way I stayed in my heart and my eyes when my eyes see it so really you tell me we wasn't meant to be happy none of us that's why we keep getting thrown around pushed around kick here kick there everything took them from us over and over and over again is that the way our life is really supposed to be is it because that's what I feel and it's not right it's just not right why does everything just keep happening over and over and over I don't understand God is this what we're destined to be is failures huh is it cuz honestly I believe that we were meant to be because nothing's ever going right or is it that we keep getting pain but entire life more and more pain every single day and never goes away is this how we're supposed to play please just don't stay
© Cindy Rutherford