A mess is what I am. Finding my way to becoming, feels more like looking through a tinted window, in a humid space seeing nothing but mist. Reflecting my Creator sounds like, a mythical story. I'm far from all His perfection. One bad decision after the next, with good intentions. One bottle here and another cigarette there. Unexpected behavior from a "Christian". No one is perfect right?! Another justification to misbehavior.
I remember when I used to get up after a fall till staying down felt like home.no point getting up if I'm yet to fall again, that's how it usually feels. Not at the moment no, I'm still holding on to who I'm yet to become, with her faults and mistakes, in faith believing. Hoping for a better tomorrow with a repented heart.
I'm not as strong as I've made people to believe.
Things aren't always as they seem. We're just used to covering it up like we do our blemishes with make up. I'm not good with it maybe I'm just better uncovered and exposed. "For all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open, and everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all." (Luke 8:17)
I'd rather reveal it and spare myself the shame.



© khethiwe.dhlamini


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