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Rejection.
The idea of love fascinates me but the process is scary. You always have to take the risk, knowing that it can end badly. You have to be vulnerable and let people in.

I always end up breaking my wall because I thought I had a connection but it all ends up to be just unrequited. It hurts too much to find out that it is only a big deal for me when it isn't for him.

The thoughts of him pile up every night, until I realise even if I don't want to think of him. How can I be so focused on him when he doesn't even care enough?

I want to get rid of the heavy feeling every time I think about of his name, his voice and his words. It hurts so bad that I stop believing that I am good enough. It hurts all the time to think I wasn't chosen even if I should believe that I am good enough.

It is so hard to put a smile on my face when I am so disappointed because I was rejected. I feel so ashamed, embarrassed and sad.