I stared out at the city In the distance from behind my half cracked blinds at the top of my apartment window. with a knife in my hand. I sat there and started smiling as I cut myself deep from the top of my wrists to my forearm. I watched the blood drip down my arm detaching from the multiple streams, leaking all over my arm. I laughed and dropped the knife as I looked out the window again. The only problem was I was a little different. I looked down and it looked brand new like I never took a knife to it. No pain when I started and no pain while I'm healing. The only thing I felt was the blood dripping. Which I wiped with a cloth. I just shook my head and pushed my fingers through my hair and held my head between both arms with my eyes looking down at the floor. Blood is what I need but blood is why I'm cursed why I'm not myself. I hate it but love it cause I need it like some of you need water. I never meant for it to go the way it did.. you know that right? I looked over at the little blue urn on the dresser. Right man?.. we were both broken but you unfortunately had to leave due to my doing.. and I'm here for eternity learning lessons? Or is it just a taunting memory that is stained on the inside of my skull. It all started that night 19 years ago. I went to my first rave and everything was super cool. Loved the flashing lights and the different artists! The energy was so positive. I was in a club setting must of been 3am in the morning. The atmosphere got a little different. It was packed and I was about to leave. I just wanted one more song and that's where my mistake got the best of me. Someone behind me whispered 'welcome to your new life young one' I thought wtf I'm 26 I'm not young. Before I knew it I felt a pinch on my neck area but it all happened so fast. I then took my left hand and ran it on my neck and there was blood. I thought it was gross.. what the hell just happened! I gotta get out of this setting. So I walked to my car and sat in there for a second before realizing I had 2 holes on my neck.. I think someone bit me hard and had a laugh by saying what they said. I drove home to my house/roommates house and he was still up. So we watched a movie. I was getting all twitchy on the couch. He could kind of tell something was up. Uhh you alright their champ? I blacked out but before I did, all I heard was screaming.. Was it a dream? I woke up on the living room floor next to him. As I was half awake with my eyes groggy. I tasted copper and wanted to spit whatever was in my mouth out. Stained Blood was all over my t-shirt . I looked down what the fuck happened last night?! As I was standing there. My eyes went to the bottom left of my vision before my head turned slowly because I think the pieces connected. I looked down and there was foam coming out of his mouth and his eyes were whiter than a fresh coat of white paint on a fence. My heart sank.. I looked at his neck and then quickly pulled up his shirt to cover up the 2 holes that had crusted seeped blood. what have I become my dearest friend..? I started crying loudly and my knees collapsed and I held him in my arms. Clenching his sweatshirt as his head layed gently on my other hand like a pillow. It was only a few hours after I got back to the house. So the sun was not even out yet. Just about to come out but not quite ready. I laid him down and had the arrangements for a night time drop off. After realizing what I am. I didn't even test fate for I had this voice in my head that said stay away from sunlight. As I closed every blind in the house I grabbed out a pack of smokes, went to a dark corner and lit one just looking at his lifeless body of my best friend I've known forever. But that was a long time ago..


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