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Black Valentine
I stood at the balcony of my office watching people moving up and down like little dots. Some wrapping gifts for their lovers or whoever those gifts are for, anyway who cares? Others dressed in red and white holding hands and taking pictures. The streets seemed busy with all the hustling and bustling. "Happy valentine's day " I heard a man tickle his girlfriend from behind. She let out a soft giggle from her lips as she placed a tender kiss on his lips. "And you have a very special place in my heart" They both burst into joyous laughter as they wrapped their arms around each other and walked away. They both seem very happy and so much in love.
Crap! why didn't I think of it before. Today is valentine's day. No wonder most people are dressed in red. It really escaped my mind."What's so special about this day anyway? Why do women expect a lot from their men on this day?" I thought to myself and it made me smile. This day I wished would be cancelled. It holds such painful memories that only amnesia can make me forget.
I remember a year ago a day before valentine's day, I had dinner with Calvin at my house. We never went out like most lovers did coz he never had time for dates and he never bought me flowers or send me love texts on valentine's day like most guys did. He wasn't the romantic type of guy but we loved each other ,that I was sure of. Calvin just had a different way of expressing his love but with every little fight that we had i just knew that he loved me . He was always there since my teenage years. He was my annoying next door neighbor. he was always there to give me headaches and find a way to cure those headaches he gave me with his jokes. He never stopped teasing me and even when we were together as a couple. He'd always pull my hair for no good reason .And when I had asked him why he did that he just laughed at me "just the sound of ouch! from you makes me happy. it's like music to my ears " I'd always chase him around. Those were actually good memories with him.
"Chelsea, i don't see the essence of we celebrating this valentine thing" he said that to me when he had passed by my house for supper. He was going to make my valentine's day boring again and I wasn't up for that. "You ain't serious, are you? I have always done things your way without complaints. I have a right to be treated like a queen too. Tomorrow is valentine's day and we're going to celebrate it. Period!" I wasn't prepared to take a No for an answer. "You'll have to get me flowers and also I wanna wake up to a sweet val's message from you. Plus we're going to have a nice candlelight dinner with my favourite food and music. I hope you know what that is?" I saw the look on his face, he wasn't going to comply "And if i don't?" he asked sarcastically "you can kiss this relationship a goodbye" i smiled at him as I cleared the dining table. He rolled his eyes at me but I was used to that anyway. He kissed me Goodnight and left. I was left alone with my thoughts. I knew deep down in my heart that Calvin wouldn't let me down. I wanted to so badly see the romantic side of him. I fell asleep unknowingly.
I woke up with a big smile on my face. I knew the day was going to be a great one. I quickly checked my messages and there was none from Calvin. I knew it was too early but I had hoped for at least a good morning message. I had to make it to work on time. I hated to keep my patients waiting. But I had to look good you know because Calvin will keep his promise or should I say make my wishes come through. I tied my hair in a long ponytail and applied a little makeup, put on a red lipstick and wore a red four inches stilettos. I had to look my best today. I wore a white sleeveless dress to match my look, took my red D&G handbag ,picked my lab coat and my car keys and left the house. I checked my messages again and still no message from Calvin. It made me sad but as they always say the night is still young but I'll say the day is still young. I encouraged myself and attended to all my patients like a good doctor should. To be frank I wanted to so badly check my messages but I was afraid of being disappointed. I was a bit free around 12 pm when I left with my female colleagues to have lunch, there was still no sign of anything. I watched my colleagues share their experiences of their valentine's day with their partners and I knew that I'd been making a fool of myself. Calvin was never going to change. He couldn't even grant my wishes despite all the pleas. Doubt of his love for me set in.
No flowers, no sweet messages, and there won't be any dinner i guess. I was furious, filled with rage because I have been tolerating him for God knows how long and he couldn't even do this much for me . I think it's the end for us, I'm not going to listen to any excuses from him. He's hurt me and I'm going to hurt him back.
I left for the consulting room, took my phone and called him. I was going to give it to him immediately he picked up and that was exactly what I did immediately I heard him say hello. "What the heck do you take me for Calvin? Am I not good enough for you? Don't i deserve a little respect from you? Why did you have to get my hopes up if you can't deliver? I know you're not part of the romantic creatures God created but you could've done this much for me. I don't think this relationship can work because I'm tired of always being the tolerant one ,the patient one while you do nothing rather than make me look stupid " i was shedding so much tears because I was hurt .He tried explaining but I hanged up. It didn't matter anymore because I've ended it. I switched off my mobile phone. It really hurt so bad but I had to pull myself together because I had patients to see. I was startled by a nurse who rushed in to tell me I was needed at the theatre. I quickly rushed there but was too late. The patient had passed away. There's so much blood ,he might have suffered a terrible accident. I went to see the patient and it turned out to be the worst day to my life.
I suddenly went crazy. It's my Calvin. No it can't be, It's just one bad dream and I want to wake up. I hit him to get up. I screamed his name but he wouldn't mind me. Why was he so quiet ? I know we had an argument but this shouldn't be his punishment for me. He's punishing me with his silence and I wasn't going to take it. What happened to him? What have I done ? I prefer a boring valentine to a dead Calvin. I felt the nurses hold me tight but I wasn't ready to let him go. Calm down i heard some voices say. I can't calm down in this situation. That guy lying there is my whole world. How can he be lying so quietly without moving? Calvin don't do this to me. I have to save him, I'm a doctor and I've done it for others. He's the only one who's been by my side through it all. Death can't take him away like that. Please Calvin come back . We'll do things your way and I'll never complain. We'll celebrate many boring valentine's day together, just as you want it. Just come back. I felt all eyes on me as I was dragged to my office by my colleagues. It was all over. We spoke about half an hour ago, I was angry at him but I'd do everything to have him back now. I wished I never spoke to him that way, I wished I had given him a chance to explain himself. My heart has been crushed into a million pieces. All my dreams gone as well.
I had to be driven home by a friend and lying at the entrance of my door was a bouquet of red roses and a valentine's day card,and a wrapped gift. My next door neighbor smiled at me." This was delivered after you left or work. Your man really loves you" I nodded my head and entered with my friend. She gave me a reassuring smile. He really did grant my wishes in a special way and I thought he'd made a fool out of me. I wanted to be by myself so I can mourn him the only way I knew how. My wish was respected and I was left by myself. I couldn't believe that Calvin was no more, he was gone forever. I was left alone in this world, no one to tease me, no one to make jokes with, no one to pull my hair, no one to do anything with. I unwrapped the gift and I was stunned; a silky red dinner dress.He actually bought me a dress even though I didn't ask for it. He actually had dinner plans for me but I guess I'll have to wear black on this day. It made me cry more and more. I could swim in my tears but I had to pull myself together because he deserves a befitting burial and besides Calvin hates to see me cry.
A month after his burial my mum had to move in with me because I had lost a lot of weight and I needed her now more than ever. She was very helpful in me getting back on my feet but I miss Calvin very much. I visit him every two weeks to tell him what's been happening to me since he left.
Here i am at my balcony relieving the memories. Today's marks a year since he left me. While others wear red on val's day, I wear black to mourn my beloved.
Crap! why didn't I think of it before. Today is valentine's day. No wonder most people are dressed in red. It really escaped my mind."What's so special about this day anyway? Why do women expect a lot from their men on this day?" I thought to myself and it made me smile. This day I wished would be cancelled. It holds such painful memories that only amnesia can make me forget.
I remember a year ago a day before valentine's day, I had dinner with Calvin at my house. We never went out like most lovers did coz he never had time for dates and he never bought me flowers or send me love texts on valentine's day like most guys did. He wasn't the romantic type of guy but we loved each other ,that I was sure of. Calvin just had a different way of expressing his love but with every little fight that we had i just knew that he loved me . He was always there since my teenage years. He was my annoying next door neighbor. he was always there to give me headaches and find a way to cure those headaches he gave me with his jokes. He never stopped teasing me and even when we were together as a couple. He'd always pull my hair for no good reason .And when I had asked him why he did that he just laughed at me "just the sound of ouch! from you makes me happy. it's like music to my ears " I'd always chase him around. Those were actually good memories with him.
"Chelsea, i don't see the essence of we celebrating this valentine thing" he said that to me when he had passed by my house for supper. He was going to make my valentine's day boring again and I wasn't up for that. "You ain't serious, are you? I have always done things your way without complaints. I have a right to be treated like a queen too. Tomorrow is valentine's day and we're going to celebrate it. Period!" I wasn't prepared to take a No for an answer. "You'll have to get me flowers and also I wanna wake up to a sweet val's message from you. Plus we're going to have a nice candlelight dinner with my favourite food and music. I hope you know what that is?" I saw the look on his face, he wasn't going to comply "And if i don't?" he asked sarcastically "you can kiss this relationship a goodbye" i smiled at him as I cleared the dining table. He rolled his eyes at me but I was used to that anyway. He kissed me Goodnight and left. I was left alone with my thoughts. I knew deep down in my heart that Calvin wouldn't let me down. I wanted to so badly see the romantic side of him. I fell asleep unknowingly.
I woke up with a big smile on my face. I knew the day was going to be a great one. I quickly checked my messages and there was none from Calvin. I knew it was too early but I had hoped for at least a good morning message. I had to make it to work on time. I hated to keep my patients waiting. But I had to look good you know because Calvin will keep his promise or should I say make my wishes come through. I tied my hair in a long ponytail and applied a little makeup, put on a red lipstick and wore a red four inches stilettos. I had to look my best today. I wore a white sleeveless dress to match my look, took my red D&G handbag ,picked my lab coat and my car keys and left the house. I checked my messages again and still no message from Calvin. It made me sad but as they always say the night is still young but I'll say the day is still young. I encouraged myself and attended to all my patients like a good doctor should. To be frank I wanted to so badly check my messages but I was afraid of being disappointed. I was a bit free around 12 pm when I left with my female colleagues to have lunch, there was still no sign of anything. I watched my colleagues share their experiences of their valentine's day with their partners and I knew that I'd been making a fool of myself. Calvin was never going to change. He couldn't even grant my wishes despite all the pleas. Doubt of his love for me set in.
No flowers, no sweet messages, and there won't be any dinner i guess. I was furious, filled with rage because I have been tolerating him for God knows how long and he couldn't even do this much for me . I think it's the end for us, I'm not going to listen to any excuses from him. He's hurt me and I'm going to hurt him back.
I left for the consulting room, took my phone and called him. I was going to give it to him immediately he picked up and that was exactly what I did immediately I heard him say hello. "What the heck do you take me for Calvin? Am I not good enough for you? Don't i deserve a little respect from you? Why did you have to get my hopes up if you can't deliver? I know you're not part of the romantic creatures God created but you could've done this much for me. I don't think this relationship can work because I'm tired of always being the tolerant one ,the patient one while you do nothing rather than make me look stupid " i was shedding so much tears because I was hurt .He tried explaining but I hanged up. It didn't matter anymore because I've ended it. I switched off my mobile phone. It really hurt so bad but I had to pull myself together because I had patients to see. I was startled by a nurse who rushed in to tell me I was needed at the theatre. I quickly rushed there but was too late. The patient had passed away. There's so much blood ,he might have suffered a terrible accident. I went to see the patient and it turned out to be the worst day to my life.
I suddenly went crazy. It's my Calvin. No it can't be, It's just one bad dream and I want to wake up. I hit him to get up. I screamed his name but he wouldn't mind me. Why was he so quiet ? I know we had an argument but this shouldn't be his punishment for me. He's punishing me with his silence and I wasn't going to take it. What happened to him? What have I done ? I prefer a boring valentine to a dead Calvin. I felt the nurses hold me tight but I wasn't ready to let him go. Calm down i heard some voices say. I can't calm down in this situation. That guy lying there is my whole world. How can he be lying so quietly without moving? Calvin don't do this to me. I have to save him, I'm a doctor and I've done it for others. He's the only one who's been by my side through it all. Death can't take him away like that. Please Calvin come back . We'll do things your way and I'll never complain. We'll celebrate many boring valentine's day together, just as you want it. Just come back. I felt all eyes on me as I was dragged to my office by my colleagues. It was all over. We spoke about half an hour ago, I was angry at him but I'd do everything to have him back now. I wished I never spoke to him that way, I wished I had given him a chance to explain himself. My heart has been crushed into a million pieces. All my dreams gone as well.
I had to be driven home by a friend and lying at the entrance of my door was a bouquet of red roses and a valentine's day card,and a wrapped gift. My next door neighbor smiled at me." This was delivered after you left or work. Your man really loves you" I nodded my head and entered with my friend. She gave me a reassuring smile. He really did grant my wishes in a special way and I thought he'd made a fool out of me. I wanted to be by myself so I can mourn him the only way I knew how. My wish was respected and I was left by myself. I couldn't believe that Calvin was no more, he was gone forever. I was left alone in this world, no one to tease me, no one to make jokes with, no one to pull my hair, no one to do anything with. I unwrapped the gift and I was stunned; a silky red dinner dress.He actually bought me a dress even though I didn't ask for it. He actually had dinner plans for me but I guess I'll have to wear black on this day. It made me cry more and more. I could swim in my tears but I had to pull myself together because he deserves a befitting burial and besides Calvin hates to see me cry.
A month after his burial my mum had to move in with me because I had lost a lot of weight and I needed her now more than ever. She was very helpful in me getting back on my feet but I miss Calvin very much. I visit him every two weeks to tell him what's been happening to me since he left.
Here i am at my balcony relieving the memories. Today's marks a year since he left me. While others wear red on val's day, I wear black to mourn my beloved.
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