Monday Sept. 4th 2023

Oh, dear diary. I have loads of news. For starters, I just started High School. Yes, the stress has returned. The loads and loads of homework increase in size from the years prior. This isn't middle school anymore.

So far, it hasn't been as bad as I assumed the tenth grade would be. I guess I'm just a dramatic individual. The lessons are okay and I'm holding up just fine. For now.

I've been writing a lot more lately, and less reading. Seems a little off considering reading is where I get my inspiration. Maybe lately I've been just writing from more of my experiences and dreams made up in my mind. Should I record it? Maybe I should write down my dreams, no matter how scary. Maybe they'd have a pattern that I'd somehow missed.

I met a girl. She's one of the only light in my life at this current moment. We talk everyday and no conversation is ever boring. And yes, I get that I am a girl and she is a girl but we live in a society where that is somewhat okay. They say it is but the silence says otherwise. She starts school tomorrow whilst I'm almost at my first week.

Last thing. I don't know what to feel. Right now, I'm either too loud or too quiet. Maybe I'm not the perfect amount of talkative I used to be. I think something has changed. I gave up little plans just to be alone, even though I hate being alone. I'm isolating myself. I know it's not good but I can't help but think that this is the right thing. Should I shut people out? Should I ignore everyone, including myself? Is this what depression feels like?

Thank you :)

© Tannni