I can never forget the joyous days of my childhood, especially the summer when all we did was swim in the river or lie on it's edge...

Except it's a lie. That summer they used and abused me until I cried no more. I didn't know what to do except to take it in silence and resignation until I bled to death, so close to death.

Your words hurt me even more. My own words because I was alone day after day until the beasts came rushing. They ripped my heart out and fed it to me from all holes. Entering my body my own heart reached my soul.. it was dark and gloomy and cold as a winter night. There was no more light no more hope.

Yet I came again everyday asking for more as the self hatred gave meaning to my quest. But I was undoubtedly gonna fail, and when the first day of fall came, I did.

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