Once so innocent, so fragile, so pure. Tragically so short lived. Robbed of her childhood. Not ever knowing she was caplable of anything worthwhile. In so deep, deep in her mind, deep in her pain, deep in the consequences for decision made with the intention of love. Time and time again brought to her knees begging for mercy, begging for a chance, begging to be loved.

Seems like it was another life when her world was so bright and full of optimism and hope. When her dreams seemed within reach. Now her world is grey and cold, thoughts so morbid and void of imagination. Dabbling with the dark side of the spirit relm, using body mutilation by way of release. Trying to hide her strung out eyes. Making friends with the shadows wondering the streets at night. Nothing frightens her anymore. She's been reborn and this time she is ready to pounce at the first opportunity anyone gives her to prove her strength

Slowly slipping into the seductive power of the dark entity crawling benethe her skin. Knowing she could never run from it. Suppressing it until she can't anymore. Sitting alone, at her rock bottom, eyes burning and full of tears, body feeling heavy from the pain endured that is now shooting out of every pore. Her thoughts consuming her mind with self-loathing, demeaning, suicidal day dreams. Unable to feel, unable to love, unable to care.

Finally something is wanting to take hold of her. She finally feels wanted. It no longer crawls benethe her skin. It becomes her and she it. She has a new glow to her. Not one of light but one of doom. Feeling powerful and she doesn't care. she has mistaken manipulation and the illusion of love for actual love

Disgusted by any thought of being in love, only wanting the rough, chaotic, lustful attractions. Abandoning any and all ideas of family or friends and only wanting those around who bring the power of numbing all feelings. Trusting no one not even herself

She became something that use to fill her nightmares. She became the thing she feared the most. So tired in her soul from being beat down, abandoned, used, and thrown away. She gives in and is given this new identity made from all her anger and fear. The enemy she feels in her body, coarsing through her vains, the one taking refuge inside, claiming her as it's own vessel to manipulate and mold into a force to be reckoned with, a monster, and it has convinced her it's everything she needs to be whole.

Only to warp her spirit and mind, making her think she doesn't have a choice, that it doesn't get better. Making her push anyone and everyone away. She no longer has faith in herself or anything at all. She has lost her way completely and lives in an illusion with no way out.

The time comes when she finds herself in the fetal position on the cold hard bathroom floor, and she feels powerless. What she thought had filled the void in her life has abandoned her too. Force to feel, force to see, forced to go within and unveil the truth that she has tirelessly been avoiding and hiding from. Unable to take the pain. Confused and ashamed to face herself.

She presses the cold, sharp blade to her skin. As she slides it down her arm the sting of it becomes so intoxicating and exciting. She presses harder and it sinks down further. She feels the warmth of her blood and it's the best high she's ever experienced. She sits there and lets her mind slip into oblivion.

As she feels herself slipping further away it comes back holding it's hand out for hers. With a smile she takes it and and only looks back once to see her limp desolate body sitting there on the floor. She is only afraid for a moment when she realizes she can't go back. What would she be going back to though? She quickly forces herself back to the thoughts of this addicting, mysterious being and where it might take her next.

She leaves her physical body behind and follows this enemy into the unknown.
© JasmineShockeyey