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The Puzzle Continued
It has taken most of my life - even since childhood, to fit the puzzle pieces together of my strange and beautiful life.
I never learned how to read a map until I was in my late thirties.
I never knew I had a cute behind until I was in my forties.
I didn't learn how to put any of my things (ie ; dvds) into alphabetical order until about half a century into my confusing, fragmented life.
But then something happened.
I was diagnosed pretty late in life with, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyper Activity Disorder), PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), BPDD (Bipolar Depressive Disorder), GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder), and BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder).
The delicate, yet sometimes more of a "Bull In The China Hutch" metaphor, the required unrelenting diligence, committment, trial and error style of Prescription Medications pushed on us under the guise "to better facilitate a functional, true sense of self" - well, it is a long and trying process to say the least.
It's also never a permanent fix. Neither is it a smooth ride, more of a sort of roller coaster both mentally, and emotionally, and is exhausting.
For those of us willing to undertake the job, we go through changes in life forever striving for the best sort of equilibrium for ourselves. This lifelong committment takes a lot of strength. Don't ever assume that for any of us, it "must be" a certain way. It isn't. If I weren't so stubborn about my own convictions I would not have made it this far.
Learning the steps as you go in the dance of life can be challenging. On the one hand, you may be carefree and not care about what is visible to others, but more likely on the other hand you may only want to show the dance once it's been learned. For those of us with many challenges it takes an entire life of doing both.
The list of Health concerns to add to the mix is also a complex type of juggling act, and not discovering many things until much later in life leaves you perpetually juggling until little by little, a new thought pattern or physical process can be somewhat let...
I never learned how to read a map until I was in my late thirties.
I never knew I had a cute behind until I was in my forties.
I didn't learn how to put any of my things (ie ; dvds) into alphabetical order until about half a century into my confusing, fragmented life.
But then something happened.
I was diagnosed pretty late in life with, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyper Activity Disorder), PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), BPDD (Bipolar Depressive Disorder), GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder), and BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder).
The delicate, yet sometimes more of a "Bull In The China Hutch" metaphor, the required unrelenting diligence, committment, trial and error style of Prescription Medications pushed on us under the guise "to better facilitate a functional, true sense of self" - well, it is a long and trying process to say the least.
It's also never a permanent fix. Neither is it a smooth ride, more of a sort of roller coaster both mentally, and emotionally, and is exhausting.
For those of us willing to undertake the job, we go through changes in life forever striving for the best sort of equilibrium for ourselves. This lifelong committment takes a lot of strength. Don't ever assume that for any of us, it "must be" a certain way. It isn't. If I weren't so stubborn about my own convictions I would not have made it this far.
Learning the steps as you go in the dance of life can be challenging. On the one hand, you may be carefree and not care about what is visible to others, but more likely on the other hand you may only want to show the dance once it's been learned. For those of us with many challenges it takes an entire life of doing both.
The list of Health concerns to add to the mix is also a complex type of juggling act, and not discovering many things until much later in life leaves you perpetually juggling until little by little, a new thought pattern or physical process can be somewhat let...
