I check my phone while waiting for him. I smile when I saw our pictures together as I browse here in my gallery, this is such a perfect relationship in my own view. I am happy to the point I am willing to throw everything out and to risk for the happiness.

When I look at in front, I saw him I smile maybe he didn't see me. I was about to go to him and run when I saw he hug another girl. I stop for a moment and just look at him. I bite my lips and close my eyes.

I turn my back to them and just wait to him. I know he will come. I know he will. I hold my bag tighter as I heard him calling me. I smile and face him.

"H-hi." I said as I try to calm myself. How can I do this? How can I face him like this?

"Hey. You waited long? Let's go, wanna eat?" He hold my waist. Just like that I felt so secure.

I don't know how bad it was but he is worth risking for.

While we are eating I just keep on looking at him. He looks so serious while eating, I smile and get my camera to capture the moment. He is so handsome. Damn he is so handsome in my eyes.

"Staring is rude, baby.." He chuckle softly. I close my eyes and just want to hear his soft chuckle.

"I j-just love y-you so much.." Tears forming in my eyes. I open my eyes when I feel his hand touching my cheek.

I can't stop it anymore. My tears fell down on my cheeks as I feel my heart being tear apart. How long can I keep this?

"I know.. I really do, too." He assured me but why I can't feel anything?

_________________________

He still didn't text me or reach me out. 5 weeks and yet he has no time to check me out? I look at the messages.

To Kleidin:

Where are you? I miss you. Please, please reach me out.

That was my text 3 weeks ago. Another text from me 4 days ago. I close my eyes and just wipe the tears.

"Channel? Come on, your cousin's wedding is today. Let's go.." I smile and just fix myself. When I am done I go downstair.

"Like what I said, Marie I didn't know why she got wed at this age. She is 24 years old and yet she is ready to get married?" My dad said while he is driving.

I look at the messages, still no respond when he seen it already. I sigh and I just caress my chest, it's okay heart keeps on holding on.

"She is pregnant that's why." My brother said while he is busy touching his phone.

When we reach the wedding, the organizer fix me because I am her bride's maid. I fix my hair.

"Ready?!" I just nodded. When the church open, I saw Kleidin.

I stop and shock. He didn't flinch, he didn't shock when he saw me. He knows already, he knows what happened. He knows that I am Dria's cousin.

Is she the girl you've been hugging, Kleidin? Why? Why my cousin? Why now? I am in the middle of the church when I stop and my tears fell down.

I can't do this.

The pain is too much.

I need to breathe.

I turn my back on the wedding and run. I don't care if she lost her bride's maid. Why he did this to me? In the middle of my waiting this happened? He got married? He impregnate someone?

How 'bout me?


_________________________

It's been 5 years when I run away to that wedding. I didn't contact anyone even my family that time, I feel so lost, I feel betrayed, and all the feeling that someone may feel, I felt.

"You really want to go home?" My mom said and worry is visible on her voice.

"Yes, Mom." I said while fixing the clothe. I heard her sigh.

"I am sorry because of what happened. If only we knew we will never go to that wedding.." I shook my head and smile.

"I am okay.. Really, Mom.."

It's my day of arrival. I sigh when I reach the house. I will surprise them that's why I didn't inform them what date I will go home.

When I enter the house I saw Dria and Kleidin while they are holding their baby. I stop for a moment while looking at them, I smile slowly when Dria smiled at me.

"Channel! You didn't tell us!" Mom said and run towards to me. I laugh and hug her back."Welcome home!"

"Welcome home, my princess.." Dad said and kiss my forehead. I close my eyes and I feel warmth.

"Welcome home, cous!" I smile at Dria.

"Thank you." I said and look at their kid. I walk towards to them and hold the kid's hand."Hello there.."

"Pwetty.." (pretty) I smile because of what he said. He still didn't know how to speak properly.

"Yeah? Tita is pretty?" He nodded. I laugh and kiss his cheeks."Your son is handsome and just fine, Dria, Kleidin."

"Yeah. He is." Dria said.

After that, we eat. Just a little bit story time. When we finish I found myself in the garden while looking at those flowers who dance so lively together with the air.

"Why did you run? Why did you leave?" I open my eyes when I heard him talking beside me. I look at him.

"No communication. No reply. No texts. Then, I am the bride's maid of your wedding when y-you promised that I will be the b-bride?" It's done but why the fvck still hurt?"What I am supposed to do? Looking at you while marrying my cousin?"

"I didn't ask you to attend nor leave, I just ask you to atleast let me explain and just waited for me. You broke me by your decision, baby.." My tears fell down.

"Could you tell me where did you get your nerve? The guts? After all the pain you have caused me you'll ask me to wait when I am waited that time, you didn't even mind to text?" I face him and slap him, the slap that I wanted to do since the day I saw him on the aisle."You broke me first! You assured me! You secure me! You p-promised! You fvcking promised! I don't care how it hurts but I will w-wait, but you never give me a reason to hold.. you broke me first.." I wipe my tears."Don't ask for anything I didn't owe you anything."

I am the one who got hurt. Until now, I am still in pain.

"I m-miss you.. I am sorry.."

I turn my back on him again, because I can't take it anymore. Now you asking me back? You miss me? The guts. The guts to ask for anything.

"You broke me first.."


© Skyler