My vacations in Goa were coming to an end much sooner than I thought they'd be, and although I'm thrilled about going back to Dubai, I can't help but think about these past 3 years of mine in Goa. I actually never intended to be here in the first place, but I had to practically force myself to come here to finish up my bachelor's degree in commerce since I didn't want to burden my dad with the expensive fees the colleges were offering, plus I knew he wanted me to study at the same institute as he had. So I took this as an opportunity to explore my parents' native place as well as visit my extended relatives.

However, it didn't go as planned, and I ended up hating almost everyone. Don't get me wrong, I loved the place, but most people made me want to leave it for good. I felt like an outcast, but I didn't mind since I accept I'm dorky and prefer being a wallflower rather than being one of the popular kids on the block. My thoughts are suddenly interrupted by a loud burst of firecrackers. I turn to my left and see King Momo and his float approaching, indicating to the onlookers that the carnival has begun. My aunt and cousins decided it would be great if we all went out for an outing, and so we arrived in Mapusa to watch this carnival show. We all stood across from St. Jerome's Church to get a better view of the whole event.

I notice that the floats are wonderfully adorned, and the music is on full blast, with each float having its own song that ties to its own theme. The people are cheering them on, with bright smiles plastered on their faces. One could even see the kids looking entirely absorbed by the whole carnival, while I stood there feeling completely disinterested with a dull and gloomy look on my face. What was my aunt even thinking? This is for kids and for people who have free time on their hands. I'd rather be at home playing video games or watching movies. I sigh audibly to myself, wishing time would pass by soon. No sooner than I thought this, I felt a hand on my shoulder which made me instantly turn to my right, and I saw a familiar face staring back at me.

She seems happy to see me, and I notice a huge smile playing on her lips. I also notice that she is wearing a white bridal gown. I assume that she may be a part of the carnival, so I don't think much of it. She greets me by saying, "Hey, Dias." I instantly start to wonder who she may be, and then it hit me. "Hi, Merylinn, right?" To which she replies, "Yes, that's me. I'm glad to meet you here. I was looking for you everywhere."

"Me? But why?" I ask. "Because I don't know if I'll ever see you again." She says it slowly, with a melancholic look on her face. I even observed the tears that were starting to form in her eyes. "Are you okay?" I ask her. "No, I wasn't, but now I'll be fine. I'll be at peace soon since my longing wish has been finally answered". She says looking relieved.

She holds my hand and gives it a gentle squeeze before she soothingly rubs her thumb in a circular motion over it. Soon, she places her other hand on my face, gently cupping my cheek. Her hands feel oddly cold for the hot weather at this time of the month. I want to say something, but I'm just taken aback by this sudden display of affection.

It's like time has frozen and I feel lost in those dark eyes as they hold me captive and feel like they're staring right into my soul. My heart begins to feel heavy and I sense that it's crying out in anguish. I feel the tears forming in the corner of my eyes and I quickly try to regain my composure. It's as if she's passing her pain onto me. I see the tears trickle down her eyes and I automatically reach out to wipe them. Her skin felt cold again, and I wondered if I was wrong. Something doesn't feel right about this, I pondered to myself as I feel a gnawing sensation in my gut.

It appears as though she's reading my mind, and before I know it, she's wrapping her arms around me and pulling me into an embrace. I try pushing her gently, but she tightens her arms around me and sobs silently as she rests her head on my shoulder. I can smell the scent of roses on her skin. She then leaves a trail of kisses on my neck all the way up to my jawline, and I almost feel out of breath. She stares into my eyes and before I have the time to react, she closes the gap between us and kisses me sensually on my lips. I can't help but respond to her kiss instantly.

I love the feeling of her lips against mine, and I feel entirely lost in a trance-like state, along with a strong desire overpowering me to always have her this way against me. We pull away for a moment to catch our breath before we kiss yet again. She kisses me deeply, making every second count, almost as if this is indeed the last time we'll ever meet again. This time, when we pull away, she rests her forehead against mine, looks me in the eye and whispers, "Je vous aime, mon amour Dias."

I frowned in confusion at her words, and with a ghost of her smile slowly appearing on her face, she gently let go of my hands and turned around to walk away from me, whilst turning back one last time to look at me with tears in her eyes and finally disappearing in the crowd. I stood there dumbfounded and quickly walked fast in the direction she disappeared, but before I could look for her any further, my cousin Rufus called out to me loudly from behind, "Yo Dias, where the heck are you headed at?" I ignored him while my eyes were still scanning the crowd for any sign of Merylinn.

Rufus catches up to me and stands beside me, noticing that I'm searching for someone. "Bro, who are you searching for?" I looked at him in confusion. "Wait, didn't you see a girl with me?" He scoffs at me by saying, "A girl? What is up with you, man? You can barely keep eye contact with a person and you're talking about being with a girl? Heck no, Dias! ". I try to calm myself down and I ask him once again to ease my racing mind. "Please tell me that you aren't messing with me, Rufus."

He looks at me sceptically. "No. I'm not messing with you. I'm positive that I didn't see you with anyone, and it wasn't just me, but my mom too noticed that you had stepped a few feet away from us and, with your back turned to us, you were talking to yourself, which was weird, obviously. I wanted to come and ask you if everything was cool, but I got a call from my friend, so I had to answer it, and well, my mom remained engrossed with the floats, so as soon as I hung up the call, I could see that you were walking fast in the direction you were earlier turned to. So I called out to you since in case you got lost, getting in touch with you would be hard as the phone reception appeared pretty bad even when I was on the call with my friend as well as the crowd has seemed to increase".

I looked at him, flabbergasted, hearing him say that and wondering if I had turned crazy and if I needed therapy.

to be continued...




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