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PARENTING 💎
It's over
You have too many issues
You never change
This caught me offguard. This is when i noticed that i would be taking the wrong turn to be like my mother.
My mother for lack of a better word is not an epitome of a female version. She does what she wants talks backs, whenever she feels, she has never been submissive.
Unlike my step mom
Whose all godly
You know what i mean
Its said that time heals, unfortunately for me time never helped.
23rd or 24 th dec 2008 she left.
I saw her pack
And a bike took her infront of our house
We never had a decent gate at that time
It was just a gate
She never said bye
Ill miss you, take care i love you
She never showed any kind of empathy.
So it was me and life and besides me forever will be my mentally handicapped sister
Whom i love dearly.
Days unfold, it darkens it brightens
Being the most thickest student in my class i was only number one from bottom, or when i do very good im second or third last
Not knowing how to read and write
Im in a new school
New mom
And a dad i never knew one on one
A dad who was then violent drastically changed.
A dad that once bet me with his belt because of bursting into his bedroom when beating my mom
And off course new uniform new friends
And better friends like the late aunty Rose.
May her soul rest in peace
I am here devastated afraid of white people because i wouldn't construct a sentence in English
Not even a sentence
I wouldn't read JOHN 3:16
Which was among the AWANA club memory verses
I stayed in one page for one year.
I never told anyone,
It was my secret that i was a fool
My daddy spoilt me with good visits each day.
Thinking i wouldn't hold up
Which i never did but i eventually taught myself how to
Days move fast. I once was number 10 and was awarded as the most improved student with a pencil from US and as an African child it was a big deal . Not the usual yellow long pencils with rubbers at the end and faded graphite which keeps on breaking
No.
It was a unique yellow pencil with a red or pink rubber and it was just perfect for my 2 inch handwriting
That aunt Rose had been trying to make me improve
Before i know it i am in adolescent with no one to tell me the basics save for my late grandmother
Who only said (don't play with boys)
I never understood that statement
How do you expect me to understand anyway.
I was the last pupil in a class of 24 pupils
No one told me that i should start growing breast and pubic hair down there
Apart from my science teacher during exams
Questions 15 0r 30. Name the changes that occur during adolescence for girls
And i would jot them down
Broaden hips
Soft voice
Silk hair
Breast grow
And may be menstrual periods
And not forgetting growth of pubic hair
Speaking of menstrual periods by the grace of my dear matron she showed us how put pads on our panties and how to wear the pantie.
But because i wasnt there yet i never understood anything
All this time none of my parents speaks to me about adolescence unless its a mistake and i have to be punished and told its my adolescence stage..
At this point my brother is born
The love from step mom decreases and i feel Like i am not wanted here
And so on and so on
I bet some of us know how it feels.
Academically im going upward. Because of persistance and my aunty who taught me how to read a fresh
So. Im in class eight the only student whose not had periods. It was a shame
I felt that i wasnt a girl enough
I even prayed that i would see my periods soon
Or even wear pads because it was said that pads pull the blood (its a lie though)
To this moment no parent bothered to talk about it apart from my granny.
Who wasnt like clear but she had to tell me anyway.
At this point i started having small breasts pointed ones
Living with my dad i was afraid of telling my step mom or dad
So i used to wear sweaters like all the time or turn a panty into a boob top
January 15 my first period it was at night. I was so happy
You can relate what i am saying
If you were anxious like me
It came for 3 days
For the next months till August i never saw them
Then boom August painful cramps
And blood all over,
Heavy flows
Just like that
and this is my final class i am so worrried
I sleep all day hold on my bed and cry
My mom who was living around never bothered so dad comes to school to pick me up it was around 11am
Then by the grace of the gynecologist i am on contraceptives because of hormonal imbalance
Then once again side effects
Lets take it back alittle girls came to school with shavers and im like whoa! what is this for
So they are like
This is a" bigrazor" that mom bought me for my pubic hair and armpits
Back of my mind im so sure i will never get that information from any of my moms
So i save money and buy my first big razor
Because i was a bush down there
It was forty shillings at that time
And then i shave and get alot of boils
My classmates aint here to tell me why,
So i manage
My parents dont talk and i dont ask. Its a lose, lose in way
Poor parenting is devastating
Ill stop at that for today
#parents #girlchild #menstrual periods #adolescence #step parents #Education #daddies
Lets enlighten our kids and bother to know what they are passing through
You have too many issues
You never change
This caught me offguard. This is when i noticed that i would be taking the wrong turn to be like my mother.
My mother for lack of a better word is not an epitome of a female version. She does what she wants talks backs, whenever she feels, she has never been submissive.
Unlike my step mom
Whose all godly
You know what i mean
Its said that time heals, unfortunately for me time never helped.
23rd or 24 th dec 2008 she left.
I saw her pack
And a bike took her infront of our house
We never had a decent gate at that time
It was just a gate
She never said bye
Ill miss you, take care i love you
She never showed any kind of empathy.
So it was me and life and besides me forever will be my mentally handicapped sister
Whom i love dearly.
Days unfold, it darkens it brightens
Being the most thickest student in my class i was only number one from bottom, or when i do very good im second or third last
Not knowing how to read and write
Im in a new school
New mom
And a dad i never knew one on one
A dad who was then violent drastically changed.
A dad that once bet me with his belt because of bursting into his bedroom when beating my mom
And off course new uniform new friends
And better friends like the late aunty Rose.
May her soul rest in peace
I am here devastated afraid of white people because i wouldn't construct a sentence in English
Not even a sentence
I wouldn't read JOHN 3:16
Which was among the AWANA club memory verses
I stayed in one page for one year.
I never told anyone,
It was my secret that i was a fool
My daddy spoilt me with good visits each day.
Thinking i wouldn't hold up
Which i never did but i eventually taught myself how to
Days move fast. I once was number 10 and was awarded as the most improved student with a pencil from US and as an African child it was a big deal . Not the usual yellow long pencils with rubbers at the end and faded graphite which keeps on breaking
No.
It was a unique yellow pencil with a red or pink rubber and it was just perfect for my 2 inch handwriting
That aunt Rose had been trying to make me improve
Before i know it i am in adolescent with no one to tell me the basics save for my late grandmother
Who only said (don't play with boys)
I never understood that statement
How do you expect me to understand anyway.
I was the last pupil in a class of 24 pupils
No one told me that i should start growing breast and pubic hair down there
Apart from my science teacher during exams
Questions 15 0r 30. Name the changes that occur during adolescence for girls
And i would jot them down
Broaden hips
Soft voice
Silk hair
Breast grow
And may be menstrual periods
And not forgetting growth of pubic hair
Speaking of menstrual periods by the grace of my dear matron she showed us how put pads on our panties and how to wear the pantie.
But because i wasnt there yet i never understood anything
All this time none of my parents speaks to me about adolescence unless its a mistake and i have to be punished and told its my adolescence stage..
At this point my brother is born
The love from step mom decreases and i feel Like i am not wanted here
And so on and so on
I bet some of us know how it feels.
Academically im going upward. Because of persistance and my aunty who taught me how to read a fresh
So. Im in class eight the only student whose not had periods. It was a shame
I felt that i wasnt a girl enough
I even prayed that i would see my periods soon
Or even wear pads because it was said that pads pull the blood (its a lie though)
To this moment no parent bothered to talk about it apart from my granny.
Who wasnt like clear but she had to tell me anyway.
At this point i started having small breasts pointed ones
Living with my dad i was afraid of telling my step mom or dad
So i used to wear sweaters like all the time or turn a panty into a boob top
January 15 my first period it was at night. I was so happy
You can relate what i am saying
If you were anxious like me
It came for 3 days
For the next months till August i never saw them
Then boom August painful cramps
And blood all over,
Heavy flows
Just like that
and this is my final class i am so worrried
I sleep all day hold on my bed and cry
My mom who was living around never bothered so dad comes to school to pick me up it was around 11am
Then by the grace of the gynecologist i am on contraceptives because of hormonal imbalance
Then once again side effects
Lets take it back alittle girls came to school with shavers and im like whoa! what is this for
So they are like
This is a" bigrazor" that mom bought me for my pubic hair and armpits
Back of my mind im so sure i will never get that information from any of my moms
So i save money and buy my first big razor
Because i was a bush down there
It was forty shillings at that time
And then i shave and get alot of boils
My classmates aint here to tell me why,
So i manage
My parents dont talk and i dont ask. Its a lose, lose in way
Poor parenting is devastating
Ill stop at that for today
#parents #girlchild #menstrual periods #adolescence #step parents #Education #daddies
Lets enlighten our kids and bother to know what they are passing through
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