today you came back, for the first time in months I was talking to You. Since admitting my feelings you shut down... with an ocean between us I didn't have a choice. I scared you off with my insecurities triggering yours.
From the moment our paths crossed there has been something between us. everyone that spent time around us saw it before we did. Soon after meeting we were talking daily, good morning, good night. I couldn't get enough I was on cloud nine. You told your mom and sister about me, showed me off to a mate. Shortly after that it started to change. I felt you pull back I always thought someone got in ur head. but it seems your heart may have been what got you instead. next you told me you could never love again, you don't want to make a mess of your quiet life again. let alone how implausible it was with an ocean between us, what would it be video calls and Playstation parties?!?. another break of communication insues.... a month or 2... this time I thought for sure it was over. how foolish could I be to keep hoping you'd see. My mind was a whirlwind of thoughts of you, and when it wasn't I would see your name in places too.... thinking I was going insane I took to the internet to figure out what was to blame.... when hitting search on everything I was feeling. it kept sending me the same answers no matter how I worded it. I rolled my eyes thinking that just foolish. shook my head and went to bed determined to start fresh. a couple days went by without a thought of you. it was a bitter sweet realization for me. the next day was different maybe I jinxed it.... from the moment I opened my eyes you were a present thing in my thoughts, like a record playing over and over... a day spent picking up my phone and putting it down... trying so hard to just keep my feelings down. finally dinner time and the kids off to bed. another night of fighting with my ex. a few hours pass thank the lord I can go to sleep now. tomorrow is a new day with new thoughts and smiles. I wake up and notice at lunch it was a quiet morning, no impending thoughts of worry. I turn on my ps4 to waste some time, and all of a sudden my phone chimes. as i reach and look I see it's a Facebook message... odd cause noone other then.... oh.... its you, im shocked at the name. I'm not ready for you not yet. why would you come back?! I look at my phone unsure how to react... my soul jumping for joy, my mind screaming NO and my heart oh my poor mushy heart.... once more I answer this time more anxious. you ask me " how...